Hang with me on this one, guys, because this is going to get crude. (Not my fault...I plan to include quotes from the book.)
So, picture it: It’s St. Patrick’s Day, and I’ve read just about every book featuring hot Irish dudes I can get my hands on. I scroll around on Amazon for a while and notice that this book,Lucky Charm, is selling like crazy. I mean, like CRAZY. I think, what the hell, I’ll give it a read. And then, bad things start to happen. Really, really bad things…
First of all, this one would probably be more adequately shelved in the urban fantasy genre, but there’s a very obvious love interest that plays a big part in the story, so I feel fairly comfortable classifying it as paranormal for the purposes of placement on our site. (We don’t have an urban fantasy page, OK? Sue us.)
Second of all, this is probably one of the best books I’ve ever DNFd. It was well written, there was intricate world-building, and the characters were interesting and likeable. So what went wrong? Glad you asked.
Did you know that excessive eye rolling can give you a migraine? I do. You wanna know how I know? I read 4 chapters of this book, much eye rolling ensued, and now I have a migraine. Hang with me on this one, guys, because imma rant a little:
The story opens up with Kate, driving home, waxing poetic about how awesome her life is with boyfriend, Benjamin, and how she just KNOWS he’s going to propose that night. He just HAS to propose, because she’s been secretly planning their wedding and building Pinterest boards since they’ve been going out for a WHOLE YEAR. Who goes out for a WHOLE YEAR and doesn’t get engaged, right? Crazy town.
Publication date:01/17/2018 Kindle Unlimited:Yes Cliffhanger:I dunno, I don’t care
Ugh. I was duped again. Deceived by good reviews, a good cover, and a good blurb. When will I learn that these things don’t always add up to a book I’m going to enjoy? Hell, this one didn't even add up to one I could finish. But I won’t waste anymore time whining. Here are the many, many, many things that irked me about this one:
Title:Seal of Honor Author:Tonya Burrows Publication date:5/28/2013 Kindle Unlimited:No Cliffhanger:No
Egads, this wasn’t what I was expecting at all. I DNF’d right around the 25% mark. Here’s what made me pull the plug:
The heroine, Audrey, is an artist. When her brother is kidnapped (who he’s kidnapped by isn’t really relevant. Just know it was your standard, run-of-the-mill romantic suspense novel baddie), what does she do? Well, she immediately drops her life in Costa Rica and journeys to Colombia to save him. By herself.
Title:The Trouble with Emma Author:Katie Oliver Publication date:02/29/16 Kindle Unlimited:No Cliffhanger:No
I have a confession to make. I’m not a Jane Austen fan. There, I’ve said it. All you Colin Firth fans out there can quit reading now if you feel it necessary. I’ve never daydreamed about finding my own Mr. Darcy, or of being Lizzie or Jane Bennet. Nope, no siree. Not. A. Fan.
So what, you might ask, made me pick up a book that’s part of a series titled The Jane Austen Factor? I dunno. Temporary insanity?
Title:Wrong Number, Right Guy Author:Tara Wylde & Holly Hart Publication date:09/23/2017 Kindle Unlimited:Yes Cliffhanger:I dunno
I’m starting to feel like I’m being Punk’d, and that Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out of my closet at any moment and laugh in my face about having tricked me into reading so many bad books these days. I mean, this is getting to be ridiculous. Can I not trust hot guys on the cover, good blurbs, and tons of positive, glowing reviews anymore? What gives?
I stopped reading this book at 7%. But Jennifer, you say, how can you review a book that you only read to 7%? Isn’t that unfair to the authors?
Title:The Boy Friend Author:Mika Jolie Publication date:04/23/2017 Kindle Unlimited:Yes Cliffhanger:I dunno
Sweet fancy Moses, I am on a bad book streak, folks. It’s getting to be like the setup for a terrifying horror movie. I mean, what if I NEVER AGAIN find a book I love?? AAAAGGGHHHH! But I digress...didn’t mean to spiral on y’all… (*clears throat*)
So, about this book...there are a few issues that made me DNF at 21%. Here we go:
This book is the worst kind of DNF. It’s the kind of DNF you go into absolutely SURE the book is going to be good. How can it not be? The cover is good, the blurb is good, the writing as you crack the book open is good. How could it possibly go wrong? And that’s when the suck creeps over you, insidiously, like a bad smell you can’t quite identify or locate, invading your happy little reading space until you’re forced to admit that you’ve picked up a bad read and have wasted hours of your life you’ll never get back. It’s the bad book in a good book’s clothing, if you will.
Title:Saving Her Author:RR Banks Publication date:09/10/2017 Kindle Unlimited:Yes Cliffhanger:I dunno
This might be the fastest I’ve ever DNF’d a book in my life.My previous record was 13%of the story. I DNF’d this one at 3%. Here’s why:
At only 3% into the story, I’ve already read very detailed sex scenes between the heroine and a dude who wasn’t the hero, and the hero with a chick who wasn’t the heroine. That would be fine in erotica, but this is romance. Now, I’m not saying I expect the hero and heroine to come into the story all pure and virginal, because I don’t. But I’m not really interested in reading sex scenes between people I know aren’t even the focus of the story.
Title:Undercover Attraction Author: Katee Robert Publication date: 11/28/2017 Kindle Unlimited: No Cliffhanger: No
I REALLY don’t like to DNF any book. It makes me feel like a big ole quitter. A failure. A reader with a weak constitution. A fair-weather reader, if you will. But in reviewing books for this blog, I’ve come to accept that I simply can’t afford to finish every book I start. In the interest of maximizing my reading time, sometimes I just have to let a book I’m not enjoying go so that I can move on to book that’s more my speed, you know? And sadly, that’s what I had to do with Undercover Attraction.
Title:Wrong Author:Jana Aston Publication date:10/07/2015 Kindle Unlimited:No Cliffhanger:No
Unpopular opinion alert. Based on the Amazon reviews, looks like I’m in the minority on this one.
What the hell did I just read? Is it supposed to be romantic comedy? The first two chapters are certainly funny enough to qualify, but the funny dies an abrupt death when the heroine and hero hook up for the first time. Is it supposed to be young adult? The heroine is young enough to qualify, but the hero is thirty-six, so I’m not sure it can be considered a true YA novel.
I’ve thought long and hard about this, and I believe that one word adequately sums up my feelings about the entire book.
Seriously, just...ugh. I might have to wear an eye patch from now on because I think I pulled a muscle in my right eye from too much eye rolling while reading. (My left eye is a little sore, too, but I don’t think I can pull off two eye patches. Making the one look good will be challenge enough. I definitely won’t look as good as Daryl Hannah inKill Billno matter what I do. But I digress…)
Amazon blurb: Raine Sumner is your struggling freelance reporter. She thought she was going to be a journalist who would change the world, but instead, she ended up doing sugary gigs for little pay. Then, she receives a job offer that’s a little more interesting than the others. It’s another fluff piece, but it involves something a little more challenging: doing a piece on Zach Frayne.