Check your answers

Test Section 1
I awoke still feeling the affects of last night. My head throbbed. I figured it was because of either the bourbon I drunk, all the chalupas I ate, or the smack in the face from my now ex-girlfriend. If I was Amish, I thought, I wouldn’t have this problem.

Errors
Affects: “Effects” should be used in this instance. “Affect” is usually a verb, and “effect” is usually a noun. Here, an “effect” of last night is a thing, a noun.
 
Either: “Either” implies two options. Here, three options are listed.

Drunk: “Drank” is the past tense of drink.

Was: Subjunctive mood stipulates that “was” should be “were.” For example, “If I were a rich man, politicians would actually listen to me.”

Amish: Technically, some Amish consume alcohol, so Amish might not be the best word choice.

Comma: A comma is missing in the last sentence after “I thought.”
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Corrected:
I awoke still feeling the effects of last night. My head throbbed. I figured it was because of the bourbon I drank, all the chalupas I ate, or the smack in the face from my now ex-girlfriend. If I were a Mormon, I thought, I wouldn’t have this problem.
Test Section 2
I felt badly about missing the deadline again. But more often then not, my deliverable are on time. When I finally handed in the project, my Boss said “you have a flare for the dramatic.”

​Errors
I felt badly about missing the deadline again. But more often then not, my deliverable are on time. When I finally handed in the project, my Boss said “you have a flare for the dramatic.”

Badly: When referring to an emotion, “bad” is the correct word to use with “feel.” As linking verbs, “feel,” “taste,” and “smell” link a subject with an adjective. It’s the same reason you say “this pie tastes good” instead of “this pie tastes well.”

Then: “Then” relates to time. “Than” introduces a comparison.

Comma: A comma should be added after “more often than not.”

Deliverable are: This should be either “deliverable is” or “deliverables are.” In the context of the sentence, “deliverables are” seems best.

Boss said: Boss should be lowercase (boss), and a comma is missing after “said.”

You: In a quote, the first word of a complete sentence is always capitalized.

Flare: Flare is a rescue signal, or a shape that spreads outward (a flared skirt). “Flair” relates to talent.
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Corrected: I felt bad about missing the deadline again. But more often than not, my deliverables are on time. When I finally handed in the project, my boss said, “You have a flair for the dramatic.”
Test Section 3
“Pour some listerine on it,” I said, “that should at least stop the bleeding.” I was busy trying to figure out whom was past out in my bathtub. “Hey” someone yelled. “Does everyone have there own clothes on now?”. Then I heard a scream from nextdoor, and I summarized that my lost python had been found.

Errors
Listerine: Listerine is a trademarked brand name. It should be uppercase.

Comma: “I said” needs either a semicolon or period. Use of a period would make the sentence easier to read.

Whom: This should be who. Who and whom are tricky. A good general rule: Use whom when you’re referring to “him or her,” and use who when you’re referring to “he or she.” So, in this case, “He (or she) was passed out in my bathtub.”

Past: “Past” is a reference to elapsed time. “Passed” is the past participle of the verb “to pass,” and it can function as a transitive or intransitive verb. Here, it means the person has passed the state of “out.”

Hey: This is an interjection and needs a comma. In some cases, “hey” could take an exclamation point, but good writers restrain their use of exclamation points. Seriously. Just don’t use them.

There: “There” is a place, as in, “not here, but there.” “Their” is a possessive adjective that shows something belongs to them, as in, “raising money for bail is their problem.” “They’re” is a contraction of “they are,” as in, “They’re going to have to taser her again.”

Now?”.: The question mark ends the sentence. There is no need for a period after the quotation mark.

Next door: Next door should be two words, although it’s sometimes hyphenated as an adjective.

Summarized: In this context, the writer means “surmised,” not “summarized.”

Corrected: “Pour some Listerine on it,” I said. “That should at least stop the bleeding.” I was busy trying to figure out who was passed out in my bathtub. “Hey,” someone yelled. “Does everyone have their own clothes on now?” Then I heard a scream from next door, and I surmised that my lost python had been found.
Test Section 4
“Are those nipple clamps,” she asked enthusiastically? Technically, they weren’t. They were just chip clips that I usualy used to keep my doritos from getting stale. “They are,” I replied, trying not to stairinto the cavernous expanse of her pillowy cleavage.

Errors
Question mark: For questions in dialogue with a dialogue tag (such as “she asked”), the question mark goes inside the quotation marks. 

Usually: The correct spelling is usually. 

Doritos: Doritos is a trademarked brand name. It should be uppercase.

Stair: A “stair” is a step. “Stare” means to gaze intently, which is what sometimes happens when you’re confronted with cavernous pillowy cleavage (even though that is sexist and we would never condone such a thing).   

Corrected: “Are those nipple clamps?” she asked enthusiastically. Technically, they weren’t. They were just chip clips that I usually used to keep my Doritos from getting stale. “They are,” I replied, trying not to stare into the cavernous expanse of her pillowy cleavage.
Test Section 5
Neither painful hemmeroids nor a broken down car stop me from seeing the band with the transvestite Venezualan lead singer, whom dedicated a song to you and I.

Errors
hemmeroids: the correct spelling is hemorrhoids. 

Broken down: In general, you should hyphenate two words that act as a single idea and come before a noun they modify. This is a compound adjective. In this instance, it would be “a broken-down car.” 

Stop: In a “neither/nor” construction, the verb agrees with the subject closest to it. So, in this case, a broken-down car “stops.” 

Venezualan: The correct spelling is Venezuelan. 

Whom: This should be who. Who and whom are tricky. A good general rule: Use whom when you’re referring to “him or her,” and use who when you’re referring to “he or she.” So, in this case, “She had promised to dedicate a song,” not “Her had promised to dedicate a song.”  

You and I: This should be “you and me.” You should always use the objective pronoun after prepositions. Here, “to” is the preposition. 

Corrected: Neither painful hemorrhoids nor a broken-down car stops me from seeing the band with the transvestite Venezuelan lead singer, who dedicated a song to you and me. ​​
Test Section 6
The account executive called the meeting. She wanted to review some revisions from the client. When I heard that, I threw up a little in my mouth. The client was an imbecile. And not just a mediocre imbecile. His capacity for imbecility was seemingly infinite—as deep and powerful as a black hole. But not just any black hole—the one inside galaxy NCG 1277 in the constellation Perseus. It’s considered the largest black hole ever discovered.

Errors
This sentence is fine. We just had to get that out. And yes, the client is that big of an imbecile. Sorry. Moving on.
Test Section 7
When Frank showed up, he asked Kyle if he could use a saw. Kyle wondered why would Frank would need a saw. Nervously awaiting an answer, the bloodstains on Franks shirt provided clue number 1. “It was a accident,” Frank mumbled. Its not my fault.”

Errors
He: Who is the “he” in this instance, Frank or Kyle?

Kyle wondered: This sentence needs help. It could be fixed a couple of different ways. “Kyle wondered why Frank would need a saw.” Or, “Why would Frank need a saw?” Kyle wondered.

The bloodstains: This is an example of a dangling modifier. The way it reads now, the bloodstains are awaiting an answer. In fact, Kyle is awaiting the answer. The bloodstains are just, you know, staining.
 
Franks: The shirt belongs to Frank, so the possessive “Frank’s” is correct.

number 1: This is grammatically correct, but it raises the issue of style. It’s important to use a consistent style throughout your work. So, you could write this several different ways:
  • The first clue
  • Clue No. 1
  • Clue number one
The important thing is to be consistent throughout your work.
 
“a accident”: You can certainly break the rules of speech or grammar for effect in your writing. So, if you want a character to sound like a hill-jack, you could say “a accident.” But grammatically, “an accident” is correct. How do you know whether to use “a” or “an”? In general, if the next sound is a vowel sound, you use “an.” If it’s a consonant sound, you use “a.” A ball. A drink. A computer. An apple. An octopus. An honor (even though “h” is a consonant, the first sound you make is a vowel sound, “ay-ch”).

its: The introductory quote mark is missing. “Its” is a possessive pronoun; it modifies a noun, such as, “the cat licked its fur,” or “the monkey threw its feces.” On the other hand, “it’s” is a contraction of “it is” or “it has.” For example, “Now it’s my turn with the blow-up doll,” or “It’s time to watch Game of Thrones, so shut the fuck up.”
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Corrected: When Frank showed up, he asked Kyle for a saw. Kyle wondered why Frank would need a saw. Nervously awaiting an answer, Kyle spotted the first clue: bloodstains on Frank’s shirt. “It was an accident,” Frank mumbled. “It’s not my fault.”
​Test Section 8
“Your not gonna believe what Donald got caught in the bob wire fence,” Jenny said. “I don’t wannaknow,” I replied. I’m not surprised though they gave him free rein in the prison yard. What’d they except?” Jenny giggled. “Does the warden Bryce McFisty know about this”?

Errors
Your: “Your” is a possessive form of “you.” It’s your move. That’s your rabid hamster. “You’re” is a contraction of “you are.” In this instance, “you’re” is correct.

Gonna: As a writer, you have the discretion to use words like “gonna.” We would encourage you to think it through, though. Make sure that it’s use contributes something to the character using the word or to the effect you’re trying to create.

bob wire: The fence is “barbed wire,” not bob wire. Bob Weir is a founder of the Grateful Dead, and he pronounces it “Weer” anyway.

Fence: A comma is missing after the word “fence.”

Wanna: See “gonna” above.

I’m: This is the start of a new quotation, so open quote marks are needed.

Surprised though they: Something is missing here. Our recommendation would be to add a period after “though” and start a new sentence with “They.”

Reign: “Free rein” is an allusion to horseback riding, meaning freedom to do as one pleases. Reign means to exercise sovereign power. While you’re likely to see some uses of “free reign,” “free rein” is the more accepted spelling.

Except: The word should be expect.

Warden Bryce McFisty: Because there is only one warden, the warden’s name should be offset with commas.
Question mark: The question mark belongs inside the quotation marks.
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Corrected: “You’re not going to believe what Donald got caught in the barbed wire fence,” Jenny said. “I don’t want to know,” I replied. “I’m not surprised, though. They gave him free rein in the prison yard. What’d they expect?” Jenny giggled. “Does the warden, Bryce McFisty, know about this?”
So how did you do? 
If you only missed a couple errors, it's possible you're a proofreading savant and don't really need a proofreading service. However, if you missed quite a few, you're like the rest of us and probably don't want to publish your book without hiring a proofreader. (Let me rephrase: DON'T publish without hiring a proofreader. It's just good business.)