Review Policy

UPDATE 9/01/20: Romance Rehab is on a  review request hiatus until further notice, meaning we (me and our guest reviewers) will not be accepting review requests for the foreseeable future. Nothing personal: we're just really far behind on our review calendar and the TBR mountain is getting DANGEROUSLY high. Thanks for understanding. (But also note: if you're an author we've read and reviewed in the past, we MIGHT make an exception.)

​What you need to know about Romance Rehab before you ask for a review
We truly love to read and review books, and we’d be honored to check out your work. It’s a huge compliment that you’d even consider sharing with us. And we’re especially supportive of indie authors and self-published authors. But before you ask us for a review, there are a few things you should know about us:

1. Failure to comply with the review policy is an automatic reject. If you don’t get a reply from us at all, know that you ignored the review policy (Sorry. Hate to be a hard-ass about it, but if we replied to everyone who ignored the review policy, we’d never get any reading and reviewing done.)
2. ​​We’re honest. Like, really honest. We’ve been called blunt before. (And that’s one of the nicer things we’ve been called. We won’t repeat the other things...most of them aren’t exactly fit for polite company.) If we agree to review your book, you might not be 100% happy with what we have to say.
3. We don’t charge for reviews. Ever. In fact, don’t ever pay anyone for reviews. There’s no need, and the whole practice quite frankly pisses us off. We also don’t accept bribes. (Not even bribes of doughnuts or Dairy Queen—and trust us, we REALLY love doughnuts and Dairy Queen. We just like our integrity more.)
4. We’re suckers for authors who give good query. If you want some inside tips about why we might reject some requests, we suggest you check out this post titled Why bloggers aren’t reviewing your book. 
5. Our editorial calendar books up months in advance, so if you need a review on a super-tight deadline, you might want to consider skipping us—but feel free to keep us in mind for future releases.
6. We publish our reviews primarily on our blog, but also on Goodreads. We also promote our reviews on Facebook and Twitter. Note: We no longer post reviews to Amazon. Why? Because their new guidelines make it difficult for bloggers to post anything and we don't really do difficult. Sorry. We're lazy like that.

​
​​What to submit
This is an easy one. Only submit romance. No poetry, no speculative fiction, no nonfiction, no sci-fi. We’re open to all sub-categories within the romance genre, but we have a particular weakness for:

• Paranormal romance
• Contemporary romance
• Romantic comedy

We’re EXTREMELY picky about the books we choose to read and review in historical romance, romantic suspense and romantic erotica. And if you want us to review urban fantasy, it better have a STRONG romantic element present. If it doesn’t, you’ll suffer our wrath.

​How to submit
Email us a nice, interesting, personable, friendly and/or funny query letter that includes your name (and/or pen name), as well as the book’s genre, page count, release date, and blurb. Attach a mobi or PDF to the email (We prefer mobi but if you don't have it, no worries. It won't affect our decision to review or not.)

Rating system

5 = Love it! No rehab needed. This book CRUSHES the romance stigma.

4 = Pretty darn good. This book might not CRUSH the romance stigma, but it strongly discourages it.

3 = Meh. We’ve read worse. It’s not really doing much for the romance genre as a whole. (It’s not hurting anything either, though. Probably still worth a read.)

2 = It’s got some issues. It’s like the literary version of Lindsay Lohan. With a lengthy stay in rehab, it might be able to get clean and stage a comeback.

1 = Ugh. This is the Charlie Sheen of books. No amount of rehab can save it.

DNF = Did Not Finish. Save yourselves; it’s too late for us.
​

Heat ratings
Full disclosure, we get really irritated when authors misclassify their books. Suffice to say that one of the biggest problems is the disparity between the level of sexual heat most readers would expect to find—based on how the book is classified, the blurb and the cover—and what the book actually contains. To help our readers know what to expect, we've developed our own rating system: 

5 chili peppers: All erotica would include a 5 chili pepper rating. This is going to include all menage reads, books with heavy bondage scenes (I’m talking about more than just handcuffs here, folks) and reverse harem stuff, and all the sexy books that have a limited plot. To make the whole “plot” issue clear to authors: if sex scenes make up more than 75% of your story, your book is getting a 5 chili pepper rating.

4 chili peppers: Romance with 3 or more explicit sex scenes that use all the naughty words for body parts that would get your mouth washed out with soap if you said them in front of your parents as a kid. (Cunt, pussy, and cock being the prime examples, of course). Reads from Tia Louise, Sawyer Bennett, Penelope Ward, Vi Keeland, LJ Shen, and Melanie Harlow, would probably fall into 4 chili pepper territory

3 chili peppers: Romance with 2 or more explicit sex scenes, but generally milder language. Reads from Jill Shalvis, Isabel Jordan and Jennifer Crusie  would fall into 3 chili pepper territory

2 chili peppers: Romance with plenty of sexual tension and foreplay, but closed-door sex. I’m thinking Kristan Higgins reads are in the 2 chili pepper territory

1 chili pepper: Romance with some sexual tension, maybe some kissing and hand holding, but no sex. I’m at a loss for examples. I don’t read much clean romance. Like Jane Austen novel movie adaptations, maybe? 

0 chili peppers: Amish romance. Nothing but longing glances. Not even any dirty thoughts, though. All the Christian romance would belong here (i.e.: romance were spiritual enlightenment and being “godly” is more important to the characters than anything else)

Shameless plugs
Having trouble coming up with a compelling book blurb? Looking for a reliable beta reader with a deep understanding of the romance genre/marketplace? Need to spice up your social media graphics? Wondering if your book cover is killing your sales? We can help help with all of that. And the best part? We work with romance authors exclusively. Sure, we could open it up to authors from other genres but romance is our passion. The whole reason we started this blog in the first place was to help make the genre we love even better. These services are an extension of that mission.

​Anyhoo, to check out our blurb review service (only $12) click the banner below. While you're at it, take a look at our other romance author services as well. Seriously, what do you have to lose?