Romance novel blurb rehab 101
First of all, there are just some things that should NEVER be in your romance blurb. No questions asked. But for everything else, there’s the Romance Rehab blurb critique service.
Have questions about how the Romance Rehab blurb help services works? Wondering if we offer other services specially designed for romance authors? (Awesome questions, by the way. You must be really smart.) Well wonder no more. Just click the links above and all will be revealed.
Okay, back to the blurb rehab. Ready for some examples? GREAT! Let’s have some fun.
And before you ask, yes, these are actual book blurbs. In some cases, we’ve redacted the author’s name and book title to protect their, um, feelings. Let the rehabbing begin...
Blurb critique example #1
(author name and book title redacted) Romance Rehab critique in red
Shiloh Martin [is?] vacationing in France with her fiancé [when she?] returns to the hotel to find him in bed with the maid.
Enraged, she races in her car up a dangerous road to discover her brakes have failed and out of control, she crashes. [There’s way too much erroneous info in these 2 sentences. Way more details than are needed for a blurb. Maybe something like this would be better: Shiloh Martin is enraged when she finds her fiance in bed with the maid at their French hotel. Thinking only of escape, she races away, only to discover her brakes are out...]
In 1885, Dorian Wolfermont, a duke known as Wolf, walks his estate that night to discover [a?] beautiful woman badly hurt. [I guess I’m supposed to realize that this beautiful badly hurt woman is Shiloh? So, what year was Shiloh in before she crashed into 1885? That’s all a little blurry from what’s written here.]
Shiloh awakens to discover that she’s trapped in the past and falls in loved [love) with a man who not only captures her heart but her spirit.
Sharing months of blissful love and experiences Shiloh awakens one morning to discover that she’s all alone in a ruined mansion. [This is all synopsis, not blurb. You’re giving away WAY too much of the story.]
Confused she discover [discovers] a tombstone with Dorian’s name and that he had been dead for a long time.
Mystified, she collapses in tears and feels herself floating in another dimension [Huh? Now she’s floating? WTF?] and when she opens her eyes she discovers that she had been in a coma. [Again, all synopsis, not a blurb that would make me buy the book]
Determined to find the truth she returns to France and to the mansion to discover that the ruined house is being rebuild [Rebuilt? Remodeled?] by a distant relative of the late duke, a young Dorian Wolfermont, the spitting image of the man she had loved in the past.
[So? There’s no closing on this. Where do they go from there? What’s the conflict? Does she find herself torn between wanting to get back to HER Dorian, and wanting to stay with his distant relative who is from her own time?]
Even if I was able to overlook the fact that this is a synopsis and not a blurb (which I’m not), I wouldn’t read this book. The grammar and punctuation errors are glaring, and this whole thing reads like it was badly translated from its native language, or that it was written by someone who doesn’t speak English as their first language. It’s a mess. I would suggest a complete overhaul.
Blurb critique example #2
Blurb critique example #3
Blurb critique example #4
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