Look, we realize our audience is probably 90% women, and this post might not reach a ton of dudes. That’s OK. Because we still want to help the men out there. Just because the majority of them aren’t in our reading audience, doesn’t mean we like the thought of them blindly stumbling through this holiday season, making gifting faux paus that could haunt them for years to come. If we can help only a handful of dudes make smart buying decisions this year, so be it. With that in mind, ladies, we’re asking that you pass this one along to the men in your lives. (Subtly, of course. Let them think they found this one all on their own.) So, without further ado, here is our list of gifts you should NEVER give the woman in your life:
Spa gift cards
The IDEA of offering the woman in your life a day of pampering is lovely. But nothing screams “I didn’t know what to buy and didn’t want to go shopping blind” like a gift card.
Alternative to a spa gift card
Instead of a spa card, why not get her the ultimate kit for home pampering that will keep giving all year round? It’s simple:
Unless the woman in your life has specially asked you for lingerie or you know for a fact she actually likes walking around the house half naked (trust me, she doesn't), don’t buy it for her. Why? Because sexy lingerie is uncomfortable and, let’s face it, It's really more for you than it is for her. Giving her a gift that’s designed to please you shows that you’re a selfish asshat. As always, the lesson here is: Don’t be an asshat.
Alternative to sexy lingerie
Instead of buying something that she’ll look good in for YOU, how about you buy her something cute and comfortable that SHE’LL feel great in? And I’m not talking about flannel PJs and house coats. We personally like Lou and Grey for stylish, cute loungewear. Everything there is adorable, super comfortable, comes in a wide variety of sizes, and isn’t ridiculously overpriced. Note: pay careful attention to her size. Nothing is more insulting than buying a size 4 woman a size 10 article of clothing, or buying a size 14 woman a size 10 article of clothing. Either mistake shows that you’re not in touch with her reality. Long-story-short: choose her correct size.
Or, if you don’t want to pick out clothes, you could go the classic bunny slippers route. (Hey, it worked out GREAT for Cal and Min in Jennifer Crusie’s Bet Me.) As far as bunny slippers go, you can’t really go wrong, but we particularly like these:
Framed photo of the two of you
Sure, this is a cute idea. She’d probably like it, too. But it’s BOOOOORRRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGGG. It’s been done to death.
Alternative to a framed photo
Why not create a custom photo book or calendar full of your favorite pics of the two of you together? It can be themed—maybe something like, “What I love about you and me,” or something as simple as “Our lives together,” or “There’s no me without you.” It really doesn’t matter. The point is, putting together a book like this takes time, thought, and energy. She’ll appreciate that book and cherish it forever. Sites like Shutterfly, Apple and Blurb make it easy, affordable, and cheap to pull off something like this, too. Blurb even lets you create an ebook version of your masterpiece to email to friends and family. And no, you don’t need to be a poet or professional designer to make this idea work. (It’d help, of course, but it’s totally not necessary)
Unless she has specifically asked for these things for Christmas, DO NOT BUY THEM AS GIFTS. Just…don’t.
What about y’all? Have any “just say no” gift ideas you think we should include? Let us know! We’d love to hear from you.