How NOT to create book recommendation lists

via GIPHY

Romance novels and erotic novels are NOT necessarily the same, no matter what Cosmo says
​
So recently, Cosmopolitan magazine thought it would be a good idea to discuss “erotic” novels. ​Great, right? Well, it WOULD have been great, if the magazine and the writer had been bothered to research what “erotic” novels actually WERE. Let’s talk a little bit about where they went wrong, shall we?

The title

via GIPHY

Yep. The co-authors of this dumpster fire of an article screwed up from the jump by titling it “30 Legitimately Good Erotic Novels You Must Read.” (Note: As of 3/2, the list was edited to only include 29 books. More on that later...) Anyone else pick up on the condescension that is positively dripping from the word “legitimately” there? I sure did. So, that descriptor is necessary because most erotic novels aren’t legitimately good? That seems to be the implied message.

Oh, and thanks ever so much, Cosmopolitan, paragon of virtue that you are, for deciding for us what’s “legitimately good”. God forbid anyone should decide on their OWN what’s legitimately good reading material and what isn’t. ​

The subhead

via GIPHY

The subhead of this thing actually says, “Perhaps with a vibrator by your side.” I’m not even making that up. Because what else could erotic fiction be good for if not for spank bank material, right? I suppose it didn’t occur to Cosmopolitan that many of the novels on their list have deeply emotional plots and feature beautifully complex characters. But I guess that’s secondary to all the sexy stuff, right? (You can’t see me, but I’m rolling my eyes)

What erotic novels actually are

via GIPHY

The co-authors of the article display a disturbing lack of understanding regarding what constitutes erotic fiction and what constitutes a romance novel. We did a write-up on that very subject not too long ago that they apparently didn’t bother to check out. Long-story-short: there is a BIG difference between romance novels and erotica. Anyone who reads either genre (and yes, they are separate genres, Cosmopolitan) can tell you that. But, that said, I’m sure the romance novelists who made the list (Nora Roberts, Jasmine Guillory, Alice Clayton, Helen Hoang, JR Ward, Gena Showalter, Christina Lauren, Lisa Kleypas, Julia Quinn, and Lorelei James to name a few) were SUPER surprised to learn from Cosmopolitan that they wrote erotic fiction. Guess they should contact Amazon and have their books moved over the erotica category, huh? And, yes, Cosmopolitan, there IS a whole separate category for erotica because, again, it’s NOT THE SAME AS ROMANCE. (Again with the eye rolling)

Lolita. Really???

via GIPHY

You guys think Lolita is a turn on? Are we forgetting that the Lolita in question is a 12-year-old? Are we forgetting that this is the story of a grown man’s sexual obsession with a child? If that’s your spank bank material, Cosmopolitan, y’all are seriously MESSED UP. I suggest you seek help. Like, immediately. (Note: as of 3/2/19, in the face of INTENSE public scrutiny and complaint, Cosmo removed Lolita from the list. Good call, guys. Good call. A little late, but still...) 

Judy Blume. Is nothing sacred???

via GIPHY

On what twisted planet in what creepy alternate universe are Judy Blume books erotic??? And the comments on this one (“You will like this book if: Exploring the innocence of teenage sexuality and "the first time" turns you on”) have me giving the co-authors of this article a pretty serious side eye.   

So, my advice to you, Cosmopolitan, is to sit down and actually READ some books before you decide to write about them. And that’s all I have to say about that.

---

Y'all said it best...

But just because I’m out of words for Cosmopolitan, here are some of the most awesome replies we found on Twitter regarding this article. (Hats off to y’all. You’re awesome!)

next time, hire someone who actually understands what the definition of erotic means. sexual content /= erotic.

— Katie Dunneback (@younglibrarian) February 28, 2019

As someone who enjoys reading erotica and erotic romance I am here to tell you this ain't it.
Do better. Hire someone who actually reads or writes this genre.

— Agata Weronika (@Aqueda_Veronica) February 28, 2019

It's very clear that whoever wrote this has NO earthly idea about erotic or the erotica genre. LOLITA? Nope! That's disturbing! pic.twitter.com/owtoRtazKs

— Kharma Kelley (@kharmakelley) February 28, 2019

It’s like you didn’t even try.
It’s like someone in your office who has zero understanding of the word erotic was given a last minute assignment and googled “books with sex and boobies”.
Also, Lolita, really? Really!?!
Ew. No.
Do better.

— Sara Horney (@CanadianMrs) February 28, 2019

Lolita. The story about a monster and his obsession with a twelve year old. And you think it's erotic.

No. Nope. No.

— StaceyLikesBooks (@ReadingAutistic) February 28, 2019

Hi! English teacher and romance reader here!

If you are reading "Lolita" and you are becoming erotically aroused by the sexual descriptions in the novel, you need to seek therapy immediately!

Because you are becoming aroused by child rape!

— Erin Griggs (@Wordslingeuse) February 28, 2019

Basically just here for the ratios and to say that there are maybe 5 items on this list that would have passed muster, so basically it seems like if a book has sex in it, it's "erotic". That is a GIANT (and creepy) paint brush we're working w/here, huh? pic.twitter.com/LAoOkzbEUM

— Marie (@LegallyHEA) February 28, 2019

I would think a magazine that publishes red hot reads would know what the difference between erotica and erotic romance is. And the fact that you allowed Lolita on this list while encouraging readers to keep a vibrator close by is gross and disturbing.

— Smexy_Sidekick (@smexys_sidekick) February 28, 2019

Erotica and erotic romance are actual genres, and a modicum of research into those genres could have spared you the embarrassment of this post. But really, what you need to delete it for, with an apology, is Lolita. It isn’t fap material, it’s pedophilia.

— *writes my own damn books* (@DelDryden) February 28, 2019

Half of these books are not erotic novels! Seriously, FOREVER? THORN BIRDS? OUTLANDER? Are you aware of the definition of erotic? Julia Quinn would be amazed to know she writes erotic novels!

— Elizabeth K Mahon (@scandalwomen) February 28, 2019

You couldn't be more wrong if you'd tried. Which you obviously didn't.

I find it hard to believe there isn't someone on the @Cosmopolitan writing staff who reads erotic romance and could put together a valid list that doesn't feature child rape.

— Karen Kiely (@kkielyauthor) February 28, 2019

Now, let’s name and shame

The ignorant authors of the article are Kara Warner and Sabrina Rojas Weiss. And if you feel compelled to say anything to these gals, make sure you copy @Cosmopolitan. Have fun!