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Manny for Hire by Denzi Dixon

4/24/2019

0 Comments

 
Manny for Hire by Denzi Dixon

Contemporary Romance

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Publication date: 03/21/2019
Kindle Unlimited: Yes
Cliffhanger: I dunno

Holy crap, y’all...I did a dumb thing.

​I didn’t read the blurb. I saw the title, read a little snippet on Facebook, I think, and downloaded. I thought, oh, how cool! A book about a man who chooses to care for children all day! But that’s not what I got. Oh, no...that’s not what I got.

via GIPHY

So, had I read the blurb, I would’ve noticed that Zach, the hero, is not a child care professional, but a construction company owner who thinks he can get the “hot new mom to follow directions too” and is only doing so because he lost a bet.

via GIPHY

Had I read the blurb, I would’ve noticed that Ali, the heroine, kept Zach employed and let him be around her child even though, “he couldn’t vacuum to save his life” because “he was great at messing up the sheets.”

via GIPHY

But, since I didn’t read the blurb, I went in blind and read on in mute horror as Ali first meets Zach, when he shows up TO WATCH HER CHILD for the first time, and touches her face, saying, “You’re fucking gorgeous.” And when she dismisses him, telling him he’d been inappropriate, he blows her off, repositions his dick (which he calls, “Big John”...more on that later) gives her his “Zach Attack Look” (not even making that up) and tells her “But don’t think this means you and I are done.”

I’m not even sure where to start with all the crap I find wrong with that, but here it goes:
  1. First of all, Ali did absolutely ZERO research about the company she hired this guy from, and didn’t even ask to see ID before welcoming him into her home. I’m guessing she trusts him because he’s hot? Because hey, everyone knows hot guys aren’t serial killers or rapists, right? (*rolling eyes so hard I might have pulled a muscle*)
  2. If a guy you’ve just hired immediately sexually harrasses you, you should probably ask him to leave. Just a thought, Ali.
  3. The owner of the nanny agency is willing to send in his buddy ON A BET to care for children? What an irresponsible asshole!
  4. Zach is willing to pretend to be a licensed child care professional because he lost a bet? What an irresponsible asshole!
  5. Ali is willing to let a guy who is clearly unqualified be in the same house as her baby? What an irresponsible asshole! (Anyone else sensing a pattern here?)
  6. Why is it that men are so often portrayed as idiots when it comes to caring for little humans and doing simple household chores such as vacuuming? Women aren’t somehow genetically predisposed to being good at house cleaning. Men can do it, too. It’s frankly insulting to insinuate that a guy who runs his own successful business is too stupid to work a vacuum cleaner. Is the author insinuating that vacuuming is “woman’s work” that a stud like Zach couldn’t possibly be bothered with learning how to do? Gross.
  7. He calls his penis “Big John.” I thought that point should be reiterated. Ladies, if you ever meet a man who has named his penis “Big John”...RUN!!!

So, long-story-short, I hate the hero, I hate the heroine, and I feel bad for the fictional baby in the story and wish I could call fictional CPS on her behalf because clearly her mother is more interested in getting laid than she is in keeping her baby safe.

And, as God as my witness, I will never ignore a book blurb again…

via GIPHY

Does this book contribute to or help crush the romance stigma?
Stigma, this book is your QUEEN.

Other reading suggestions

Romance heroes who are GREAT with their hands
Romance heroes who are GREAT with their hands​
Single moms in romance who deserve their HEAs
Single moms in romance who deserve their HEAs​
Laugh out loud contemporary romances
Laugh out loud contemporary romances
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