On His Terms by Madison Quinn

​CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE

Publication date: 09/09/2018
Kindle Unlimited: No
Cliffhanger: Yes
​
Ugh. Wow. I’m either really, really grumpy today (or, maybe everyday, I guess), or this was really bad. I kind of want you all to go read it now to tell me if I’m right or not. (I think the milk’s bad, y’all. Take a big whiff of it and tell me what you think!).

via GIPHY

So,  my bullshit meter was tripped pretty much throughout this entire book. Here’s the basics:

1. I find it hard to believe that an abused woman who left her attacker has no problem agreeing to “fake date” with a millionaire who tells her upfront that photos of her will be posted online, and that paparazzi will follow her everywhere. I’m thinking someone like Kenzie would want to keep a low profile, given her circumstances. (But, in all honesty, maybe her ex is dead. I started skimming at some point around the 45% mark of the story, so it’s entirely possible that I missed something.)
2. Here we have yet another gorgeous 30-year-old millionaire hero. ‘Cause that happens all the time in real life, huh? And also, why are the paparazzi so interested in some business man? That seemed super odd to me.
3. While we’re on the topic of our hot millionaire, Nicholas: I’m not sure why the press started drawing conclusions about his personal life. Aren’t lots of millionaires seen with different women at different events? Why would they assume he can’t maintain a relationship and has something to hide just because he likes to date different women? Sounds like typical guy behavior to me. If I was Nicholas, I’d consider suing the tabloids for defamation.
4. If a guy drives by and his car splashes me, soaking my pants and forcing me to buy new pants before work, I would gladly take any money he offered to pay for my dry cleaning.  I wouldn’t tell him it was no trouble and try, repeatedly, to shove the money back into his hand. He’s doing a decent thing, honey. Let him do it!

​There were other irksome moments, too:

The cover
The cover of this books hints at playful romance, maybe even romantic comedy. Cutesy. There’s nothing funny or cutesy here. Nothing at all. And I don’t mean that it’s not funny because it’s emotional or dramatic or anything. It’s just boring.
​

via GIPHY

Glacial pacing
Holy God, does this book move slow! On a positive note, if the authoring biz doesn’t work out for this author, I think she can open and run a high-end escort service, because Jesus, she’s really thought all that through. I think every logistical question anyone could ever come up with is covered in the first few chapters of this book. 

Descriptions?
And while the escort business was described in excruciating detail, I don’t really know what anyone in the story looks like. I didn’t find any descriptions of Kenzie or Nicholas.    

Kenzie the Perfect
Kenzie is a paragon of virtue. She’s super hard working, so sweet you’ll get cavities if you spend too much time with her, beautiful (or, at I assume so. It’s not like the author describes how she looks), and generous to a fault. I have no interest in reading about paragons of virtue. I want to read about realistic heroines, and real women have flaws and quirks. Kenzie’s pretty much a posable Barbie Doll.

No sex
I have no problem with clean romance. I really don’t. Sometimes I even prefer it to spicy romance. But when a book is a clean romance, I think the author should disclose that loud-and-clear, because the clear trend in romance these days is explicit sex scenes.   If you’re offering something out of the norm, you should tell your readers that so they aren’t disappointed. 

Cliffhangers suck
These days, readers expect a heads-up if your book includes a cliffhanger. Some of us think that cliffhangers are nothing short of emotional blackmail. Some of us don’t appreciate an author’s attempt to blackmail readers into buying their next book. Some of us (*cough*me*cough*) think this book should have come with a cliffhanger warning.
​
In the end, this book earns it’s one star because I enjoyed Kenzie’s boss, Bridget. She gave off a serious Miranda Priestly vibe that I quite enjoyed. Too bad the rest of the story didn’t match up to Bridget’s awesomeness.
​

via GIPHY

Full disclosure: We received an ARC from NetGalley, free of charge. 

Does this book contribute to or help crush the romance stigma?
Contributes mightily. Suggest extensive, court-mandated rehab. 

Other reading suggestions
We put together a list not too long ago that featured some of our all-time favorite fake boyfriend romances that crushed the romance stigma. Check it out!

---