book recs, author services, general badassery
  • Blog
    • Free Romance Reads
    • Our Thoughts
    • 1-Click Wonders
    • Author on Authors
    • Chattin' with Authors
    • So You're New To...
  • Book Recs
  • Reviews
    • 5-Star Reads
    • Contemporary Romance
    • Historical Romance
    • New Adult Romance
    • Paranormal Romance
    • Romantic Comedy
    • Romantic Erotica
    • Romantic Suspense
    • Teen Young Adult
    • Hall of Shame
  • About
    • Contact
    • Review Policy
    • Guest Post Guidelines
    • Advertising on Romance Rehab
  • For Authors
    • Romance novel blurb help
    • Referral Program
    • Romance Remedy
    • Romance Author Services
    • Online Writer's Resources
    • Proofreading Test >
      • Proofreading Test Answers
  • Blog
    • Free Romance Reads
    • Our Thoughts
    • 1-Click Wonders
    • Author on Authors
    • Chattin' with Authors
    • So You're New To...
  • Book Recs
  • Reviews
    • 5-Star Reads
    • Contemporary Romance
    • Historical Romance
    • New Adult Romance
    • Paranormal Romance
    • Romantic Comedy
    • Romantic Erotica
    • Romantic Suspense
    • Teen Young Adult
    • Hall of Shame
  • About
    • Contact
    • Review Policy
    • Guest Post Guidelines
    • Advertising on Romance Rehab
  • For Authors
    • Romance novel blurb help
    • Referral Program
    • Romance Remedy
    • Romance Author Services
    • Online Writer's Resources
    • Proofreading Test >
      • Proofreading Test Answers
Picture

Red flags that warn me to never, EVER read certain romance novels

9/20/2021

2 Comments

 
Picture
I've learned a few things over the DECADES I've been reading romance novels. Most importantly, I've learned to spot some glaring red flags. These red flags tell me that certain books aren't for me, and I REALLY pay attention to them. So, if I see these things in a book's blurb, marketing, or sample chapters, I bail with a quickness (and you might want to do the same):    

"Not like other romance novels."

This statement has big "not like other girls" energy. It implies that most romance novels are unreadable, predictable crap, but THIS one is a grand, glorious literary achievement. It's the kind of thing people who hate romance say. I don't want to read romances written by people who don't really love romance, because let me assure you, the lack of passion is OBVIOUS to readers. The people who say stuff like this are usually people who wrote in other genres, failed to sell anything, and thought they'd knock out a quick romance novel to make some money, because how hard can it be, amirite? (Spoiler alert: It's hard to write a good romance. Really, really hard.) So, long-story-short, if you tell me your romance isn't like all the others out there (see also: not your grandmother's/mother's romance), I won't be reading your book.   

Fifty Shades and Twilight 

If a book mentions Fifty Shades and/or Twilight (positively or negatively) in its marketing, I won't be reading it.  One big romance novel cliché that's spewed by people who know nothing about the genre is that all romance is either like Fifty Shades or Twilight. I hate marketing that plays into that cliché, so I avoid books that try it. 

Nicholas Sparks

First of all, Nicholas Sparks does NOT write romance novels. If you don't believe me, check out his own website where he insists that he writes "love stories." There is a very big difference between a romance novel (which MUST have a happily ever after or happy for now ending) and a love story (which can end tragically, much like a crap ton of the Sparks catalog). So, if a book's marketing campaign hinges on it being like Nicholas Sparks, I'm out with prejudice.  

Wild comparisons

If a book tells me in it's marketing material that it's for fans of Nora Roberts, Janet Evanovich, James Patterson, and "insert name of huge bestseller" here, I'm not going to read it. If I see all those big names, I'm going to assume that whoever is in charge of marketing just listed out whoever was selling best at the moment to try and drum up interest in the book. There's no one book that is going to appeal to readers of all of those huge bestsellers. And why romance authors would ever list out non-romance authors as a comparable, I have no idea, but I see it often. So, I guess my advice to book marketers who are doing that is...stop it. It's off-putting.  

You'll laugh, you'll cry...

First of all, you're not the boss of me. Don't tell me what to do. If you try to tell me what to do, I'm gonna do the opposite, which, in this case, means I'm not going to laugh OR cry, because I'm not going to read the book. Plus, "you'll laugh, you'll cry" is a tired cliché, and if the best marketing you can come up with for your book is a tired cliché, I'm not interested in reading more of your work.  I realize that's harsh, but I'm not sorry. My spare time is short. If I ignored red flags I'd never get anything done.  

Subvert expectations

If you tell me you've written a romance novel that subverts expectations, I'm going to run away screaming. I expect romance novels to be beautifully written, fun, sexy, emotional, and end happily. I'm not interested in having any of my expectations subverted, thank you very much.  

It's how long?

There are some authors who can pull off really long romance novels. I won't name them, but I've read a few romance novels over 450 pages that were great. But that's not the norm, in my experience. I'm willing to tolerate longer romantic fantasy novels, because I understand the world building can get time consuming and complicated. But for contemporary romance, I'm probably gonna avoid anything over 350 pages, unless I'm familiar with the author's work. Why? Because if a contemporary romance is that long, the plot is either way more complex than I care for, or worse, it's just a wordy, meandering book  with a glacial plot. I don't have the time for wordy, meandering books, and I don't care for super complex plots in contemporary romance, either. (I have a short attention span. Sue me.)

Erotica about a young girl written by an old man 

Yes, this one is oddly specific, I know. But I've gotten more than a few review requests from male authors (exclusively white males over the age of 65, for some reason) who wrote books about very young girls on "erotic journeys". Every time I get one of these requests I cringe so hard I pull a neck muscle, then immediately go shower, because there's just something that strikes me as terribly WRONG and gross about older men writing this kind of stuff about very young women. Maybe I'm missing out on some great erotica, but...that's a chance I'm willing to take. 

Female characters who are tortured to further a male's character growth

This goes for movies, as well. When the only method a writer can come up with for furthering a male character's growth/story arc is to rape/murder/torture a female character, I'm out. Deadpool 2 is a great example of this for me. It's a misogynistic plot device that I have zero tolerance for.  

Secret pregnancy

There are only a few secret pregnancy romances I can tolerate. I get irrationally stabby when I read about a heroine who kept her pregnancy hidden from a great hero because he broke her heart, or she didn't want to hold him back. Unless the guy was an abusive a-hole, he has the right to now about his kid. I have trouble empathizing with heroines who rob heroes of the first years of a kid's life for no good reason at all. I read blurbs for secret pregnancy romances VERY carefully, and if the heroine had a way to contact the hero and the hero wasn't abusive and she still hid the pregnancy, I skip that book, because reading it would only result in me leaving a scatching review, and no one needs THAT.     

Racism

If I see characters who participated in genocide of indigenous populations, or were slave owners, KKK members, or Nazis presented as romantic leads, I'm out. Some actions are irredeemable.  

But those are just a few of MY red flags. What about you? Let's discuss! 


Picture
Picture
2 Comments
Heidi
9/20/2021 05:30:54 pm

Cheating. I'm sorry, but there is no excuse for cheating. Remove yourself from a relationship before starting another. Be adult enough to handle your love life like an adult. If they cheat with you, they'll cheat on you. Just my personal peeve (aside from the multiple others you mentioned).

Reply
Carolyn Overcash
9/28/2021 12:53:11 pm

I'm not into instalove or sexual activity quotes in the introduction blurb. Crude language is not a substitute for great writing skills. I'll pass on those books, thank you.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Romance Rehab newsletter sign up

    FOLLOW US 
    Reedsy Top Book Reviewer 2019

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017

Picture

BLOG
FREE Romance books
​Book Recommendations

Our Thoughts
1-Click Wonders
5-Star Reads
Authors on Authors
Chattin' with Authors
So You're New To...
What Not to Read
REVIEWS
​
Contemporary Romance
Historical Romance
New Adult Romance
Paranormal Romance
Romantic Comedy
Romantic Erotica
Romantic Suspense
Teen/Young Adult
ABOUT
Contact
Review Policy
Guest Post Guidelines
Advertising on
​Romance Rehab

​
FOR AUTHORS
Online Writer's Resources
Proofreading Test
ROMANCE AUTHOR SERVICES 
Romance novel blurb help
Romance Remedy program

Referral program

Romance author services
  • Book cover critique
  • Animated book covers and social media graphics
  • Beta reading
FREE Romance Rehab newsletter: ​Subscribe here
KnockinBooks LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.
​© 2020 KnockinBooks LLC