Tempted

CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE

​Title: Tempted  
Author: Lauren Landish & Willow Winters
Publication date: 10/22/2016
Publisher: Amazon Digital Services
Kindle Unlimited: Yes
Cliffhanger: I dunno
Rating: DNF

Amazon blurb
I'm heartless and cutthroat. It's just the way I was raised.
I had no regrets. Until she showed up.

It started with her old man. That stubborn bastard set me up. He knew what he was doing. I fell for her before I even heard her voice.

What was he thinking, trying to set her up with a prick like me?

She's too good for me. I should've walked away. But every time she told me no, it only made me want to chase her more.

And now I'm f*cked. She's f*cked.

I'm trouble, that's all I am, and I brought that to her doorstep.

She's gonna hate me. But she's not leaving.

She tempted me; now she's mine.

My Review
Jesus, this was awful. I only made it through 7% of this story before my Kindle starting screaming for mercy. But that tiny little portion of the book gave me enough eye-rolls that I still have a headache. Here it goes (taking a deep breath):

1. This might seem like a tiny thing, but Lizzie’s friend Nat snaps at her during her father’s funeral reception for eating too many cookies. She’s suffered a great loss, here. Let her eat the cookies, you heartless bitch! And by the way, who only brings a dozen cookies to something like that? Don’t be a cheapskate. Bring several dozen, especially if you own the damn bakery.     
2. When Lizzie sees hottie Liam at the funeral, she’s interested in him. When she sees him at the lawyer’s office for the reading of her father’s will, she snarls at him like a rabid badger. Emotional whiplash anyone?
3. And speaking of that rabid badger routine...what the hell is Lizzie’s problem with this guy? He’s a complete stranger. Where did the irrational hate-at-first-sight come from? Why automatically assume the guy is some asshole who purposefully set out to swindle you out of your inheritance?
4. Liam—I shit you not—gets a hard-on in the lawyer’s office when he’s all alone, just by thinking of the heroine, who he’s never met. (He saw her at a distance at the funeral, where she wasn’t naked). I don’t own a penis so I can’t say for sure, but I’m guessing that past their teenage years, most men have a little bit more control over their dicks than that. (And if not, seriously, how do you guys get anything done?)
5. So, Liam of course, isn’t interested in the inheritance money. He immediately says so. But instead of accepting this gracefully, Lizzie, still in full-on badger mode, lashes out at him once again. His response? Tell her he wants a date with her. Now, up until this point, I was completely on Team Liam (despite the creepy hard-on incident). But this suggestion makes Lizzie (and me as a reader) think he’s only going to give up the inheritance if she goes out with him. That kinda has a prostitute-y vibe there to it, Liam. Now I don’t like either of the main characters in the story. Congrats, guys. That’s at 5% of the story. Pretty sure that’s a new record for me.
6. Now I’m at 6%. I’m no quitter, so I endure. Lizzie angrily stomps up to Liam’s door after spending some quality time in woe-is-me land and chit-chatting with the lawyer (who frankly, is the only character in the story I actually like at this point). Her first thought when Liam (who she HATED on sight, who she thinks swindled her father and robbed her of her inheritance) opens the door? “God, he’s so fucking handsome.” Yep. Seems about right.
7. Liam tolerates her angry outbursts for a while before grabbing her and pinning her to the wall in his foyer, trapping her hands above her head. Now, if this happened to me, and some stranger pinned me to a wall in anger, I’d introduce that guy’s nuts to my knee pretty damn fast. A woman can’t afford to give an angry stranger the benefit of the doubt in a physical situation like that. But what did our intrepid heroine do? Trembled beneath his gaze and got turned on. Sigh.
8. Now I’m at 7% and this line jumps out and smacks me in the face: “If she wasn’t Richard’s baby girl I’d make sure I fucked this broad out of my system.” And...I’m out.

Overall thoughts? I wouldn’t wish this one on my worst enemy.

Does this book contribute to or help crush the romance stigma?
Contributes! This one definitely perpetuated the myth that romance novels are unrealistic, all about sex, and badly written. This book is in immediate need of rehab! (Although I’m not entirely sure any amount of rehab can fix it)

Other reading suggestions
If you’re looking for a good, light and funny (and fairly clean) “hot guy next door” story, try Kristan Higgins’ Too Good to be True. For a little darker, sexier take on the bad boy next door neighbor, try Last Hit by Jessica Clare and Jen Frederick. In new adult romance, I highly recommend Neighbor Dearest, by Penelope Ward, which is a great blend of angst, humor and sexy times.  ​

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