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The snarkiest, sassiest heroines you’ll ever find in paranormal romance

2/16/2018

2 Comments

 
The snarkiest, sassiest heroines you’ll ever find in paranormal romance
Any romance reader can tell you that there is a difference between a snarky, sassy heroine and a bitchy heroine. Snarky, sassy heroines are intelligent and able to fire pithy one-liners at unsuspecting heroes in a single bound, posses an above-average grasp of sarcasm, and are—above all—supremely likeable. On the flip side, bitchy heroines are, well, bitchy. And while you do occasionally run into bitchy heroines in romance land, there’s no shortage of snarky, sassy ladies to make up for it, especially in paranormal romance. So, without further ado, here are our picks for the snarkiest, sassiest heroines you’ll ever find in paranormal romance novels.
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(Listed in no particular order. Also, these are all series. We’ve listed book 1 in each series so you’ll know where to start. You’re welcome. Also: we understand some of these books can be classified as urban fantasy. We get that. But without the romance element, the stories would be severely impacted, so we’ve included them and called them romance anyway. Plus, it’s our list, and no one is the boss of us, so we’re gonna include whatever we want. The end. Now, on with the show...)

The Unleashing by Shelly Laurenston

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Kera Watson never expected to face death behind a Los Angeles coffee shop. Not after surviving two tours lugging an M16 around the Middle East. If it wasn't for her hot Viking customer showing up too late to help, nobody would even see her die.

In uncountable years of service to the Allfather Odin, Ludvig "Vig" Rundstrom has never seen anyone kick ass with quite as much style as Kera. He knows one way to save her life--but she might not like it. Signing up with the Crows will get Kera a new set of battle buddies: cackling, gossiping, squabbling, party-hearty women. With wings. So not the Marines.

But Vig can't give up on someone as special as Kera. With a storm of oh-crap magic speeding straight for L.A., survival will depend on combining their strengths: Kera's discipline, Vig's loyalty... and the Crows' sheer love of battle. Boy, are they in trouble.

Nice Girls Don’t Have Fangs by Molly Harper

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Maybe it was the Shenanigans gift certificate that put her over the edge. When children's librarian and self-professed nice girl Jane Jameson is fired by her beastly boss and handed twenty-five dollars in potato skins instead of a severance check, she goes on a bender that's sure to become Half Moon Hollow legend. On her way home, she's mistaken for a deer, shot, and left for dead. And thanks to the mysterious stranger she met while chugging neon-colored cocktails, she wakes up with a decidedly unladylike thirst for blood.

Jane is now the latest recipient of a gift basket from the Newly Undead Welcoming Committee, and her life-after-lifestyle is taking some getting used to. Her recently deceased favorite aunt is now her ghostly roommate. She has to fake breathing and endure daytime hours to avoid coming out of the coffin to her family. She's forced to forgo her favorite down-home Southern cooking for bags of O negative. Her relationship with her sexy, mercurial vampire sire keeps running hot and cold. And if all that wasn't enough, it looks like someone in Half Moon Hollow is trying to frame her for a series of vampire murders. What's a nice undead girl to do?

Magic Bites by Ilona Andrews

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When the magic is up, rogue mages cast their spells and monsters appear, while guns refuse to fire and cars fail to start. But then technology returns, and the magic recedes as unpredictably as it arose, leaving all kinds of paranormal problems in its wake.

Kate Daniels is a down-on-her-luck mercenary who makes her living cleaning up these magical problems. But when Kate’s guardian is murdered, her quest for justice draws her into a power struggle between two strong factions within Atlanta’s magic circles.

The Masters of the Dead, necromancers who can control vampires, and the Pack, a paramilitary clan of shapechangers, blame each other for a series of bizarre killings—and the death of Kate’s guardian may be part of the same mystery. Pressured by both sides to find the killer, Kate realizes she’s way out of her league—but she wouldn’t have it any other way…

Fashionably Dead by Robyn Peterman

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Vampyres don’t exist. They absolutely do not exist.

At least I didn’t think they did ‘til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead?

Now I’m a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren’t bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe. On the downside, I’m stuck with an obscenely profane Guardian Angel who looks like Oprah and a Fairy Fighting Coach who’s teaching me to annihilate like the Terminator.

To complicate matters, my libido has increased to Vampyric proportions and my attraction to a hotter than Satan’s underpants killer rogue Vampyre is not only dangerous . . . it’s possibly deadly. For real dead. Permanent death isn’t on my agenda. Avoiding him is my only option. Of course, since he thinks I’m his, it’s easier said than done. Like THAT’S not enough to deal with, all the other Vampyres think I’m some sort of Chosen One.

Holy Hell, if I’m in charge of saving an entire race of blood suckers, the Undead are in for one hell of a ride.

First Grave on the Right by Darynda Jones

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Charley sees dead people. That's right, she sees dead people. And it's her job to convince them to "go into the light." But when these very dead people have died under less than ideal circumstances (i.e., murder), sometimes they want Charley to bring the bad guys to justice. Complicating matters are the intensely hot dreams she's been having about an Entity who has been following her all her life...and it turns out he might not be dead after all. In fact, he might be something else entirely.

Semi-Charmed by Isabel Jordan

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​Psychic and paranormal PI Harper Hall isn’t that surprised when her business partner skips town. Really, she can’t help but feel it’s her own fault for trusting a guy named Romeo in the first place.


But if Harper wants to consult for the police on a high profile case, she’ll need a new partner— preferably one with some supernatural skills of his own. Enter Noah Riddick, a slayer left jobless by the legalization of vampirism.

Riddick’s dark secrets and shady past have forced him into exile from human society—an exile he was completely comfortable with until gorgeous and exasperating Harper waltzed into his life. Now, all too aware of how…unlifelike his life has truly been, he agrees to partner with her (as if saying no to Harper Hall was ever really an option).

Fighting vampires, making immortal enemies, engaging in semi-sadistic interrogation techniques, staging daring rescues…it’s all in a day’s work for this paranormal odd couple. But falling in love? Well…that’s a little trickier. Even for the Semi-Charmed Harper Hall.

Undead and Unwed by MaryJanice Davidson

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First Betsy Taylor loses her job, then she's killed in a car accident.  But what really bites is that she can't seem to stay dead.  And now her new friends have the ridiculous idea that Betsy is the prophesied vampire queen, and they want her help in overthrowing the most obnoxious power-hungry vampire in five centuries.

My Commander by Alanea Alder

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When the topic of grandchildren comes up during a weekly sewing circle the matriarchs of the founding families seek out the witch Elder to scry to see if their sons have mates. They are shocked to discover that many of their son’s mates are out in the world and are human!
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Fearing that their future daughter in laws will end up dead before being claimed and providing them with grandchildren to spoil, they convince their own mates that something must be done. After gathering all of the warriors together in a fake award ceremony the witch Elder casts a spell to pull the warrior’s mates to them, whether they want it or not.

Aiden McKenzie is adamant that he doesn’t need a mate and that she would only get in the way. He doesn’t have time to coddle a female. He likes his world run with military precision. Little does he realize, Fate is sending him his mate first! He meets his destined mate Meryn Evans and things go downhill from there. She is the embodiment of chaos. In the first twenty-four hours she kicks, screams and knocks her bear shifting mate unconscious.

Eventually they discover that life before finding each other may have been good, but life afterwards is perfect, even if it involves super soaker battles and accidentally discharging hand grenades.

Unfortunately the joy of their mating is overshadowed when Aiden and Meryn find themselves embroiled in a missing persons case assigned to Aiden by the Lycaonian Council. By assisting Aiden, Meryn finds herself the focus of a demented killer.

Can Aiden and the elite warriors from the Alpha Unit keep Meryn safe? Or did Fate bring her to Lycaonia to die?

Halfway to the Grave by Jeaniene Frost

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Half-vampire Catherine Crawfield is going after the undead with a vengeance, hoping that one of these deadbeats is her father—the one responsible for ruining her mother's life. Then she's captured by Bones, a vampire bounty hunter, and is forced into an unholy partnership.

In exchange for finding her father, Cat agrees to train with the sexy night stalker until her battle reflexes are as sharp as his fangs. She's amazed she doesn't end up as his dinner—are there actually good vampires? Pretty soon Bones will have her convinced that being half-dead doesn't have to be all bad. But before she can enjoy her newfound status as kick-ass demon hunter, Cat and Bones are pursued by a group of killers. Now Cat will have to choose a side . . . and Bones is turning out to be as tempting as any man with a heartbeat.

Immortal Matchmakers by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

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Demigod Andrus Gray may look like every woman's dream, but when it comes to charm, he sees no point in pretending: He has none and makes no apologies for it. Behaving nicely hasn't made him the deadly assassin he is today. But is that really the reason he's still single?

The Goddess Cimil—owner of Immortal Matchmakers, Inc.—thinks yes. So when she foresees a mate in Andrus's near future, she's determined to make the match happen. That means hiring aspiring actress Sadie Townsend to help the barbarian "act" a little more civilized.

But are seven days really enough? And why does he suddenly have the urge to throw away an eternity of love for just one night with Sadie?

The Demon in Me by Michelle Rowen

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Eden Riley is a psychic consultant for the police, even though her abilities have never been her most reliable skill. On her most recent case, her paranormal powers are about to get her into some serious trouble.

After a serial killer is gunned down in front of her, Eden realizes that she’s quite literally no longer alone. A voice in her head introduces himself as Darrak. He’s a demon—but not it a bad way. Now he’s been bound to Eden by chance of fate. By day he can take very appealing form, but by night he needs Eden—for her body. When Darrak promises he can coach her on getting the life—and the man—of her dreams if she doesn’t call 1-800-EXORCIST, can Eden learn to live with this sexy demon?

What about y’all? Any snarktastic heroines you’d like to add to the list? Let us know! We’d love to hear from you!
2 Comments
Barbara Strickland link
6/2/2019 04:59:32 am

Love, love your choices

Reply
Tina Evans
4/20/2022 02:48:30 am

It's YA, but Rose Hathaway in Vampire Academy definitely fits the description of a snarky, sassy heroine.

Reply



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