There are very few things I even watch on TV anymore. Why? Because it seems like lately, when I love a TV show, it comes to a horrible, horrible end. Sometimes the ending is so horrible that it negates everything I enjoyed about the show in the first place and I feel like I’ve wasted years of my life fangirling for no good reason at all. I’m actually TERRIFIED that Supernatural is ending this year because what will become of my precious Dean??? So, with that in mind, I’ve come up with this list of the WORST TV endings that need to be rewritten by romance authors ASAP—because let’s face it, romance authors know how to give good ending.
Preemptive note: I’m not saying that all of these shows should have had storybook, happy endings. I get it: these shows weren’t necessarily about romance. But the endings should have MADE SENSE, and they totally didn’t. That’s all I’m saying. So please don’t write and tell me that if I was expecting HEA endings then I shouldn’t have been watching these shows. The romance authors I’m nominating for these rewrites could have created endings that made sense AND were satisfying to long-time viewers. The end. It’s my opinion, and I’m sticking to it. If you don’t like it, go write your own post. So there.
Game of Thrones
Everything about this show was brilliant...right up until it totally face-planted in those last 2 episodes. Years of character development and plot points went down the toilet, and the writers, David Benioff and DB Weiss, couldn’t care less because they were ready to head out and ruin the next Star Wars movies. (Because any time you have the opportunity to crap all over two icon franchises in a row, you have to take it, right?)
There were so, so many things wrong in those last couple of episodes (Dany goes completely psycho after being touted as a hero and freer of slaves for 8 seasons, the prophecy of the prince who was promised is forgotten, the worst villain on the show is killed by falling rocks, a dragon is shot down brutally and totally unnecessarily, Ghost loses an ear in battle and Jon can’t be bothered to give him a head pat before dumping him off on Tormund, Brienne—the strongest woman on the show—is reduced to a puddle of tears because of a boy, Jaime’s redemption arc is completely negated when he decides, inexplicably, to go back to Cersei, who’d tried to have him killed, Bran—freakin’ BRAN, who likely could have prevented all the pointless bloodshed—becomes King of the realm...I could go on, but what’s the point?). So who could fix this trainwreck of an ending? MY VOTE: Ilona Andrews Why Ilona Andrews should be in charge of the rewrite for the dismal Game of Thrones series finale The writing team of Ilona Andrews has proven themselves more than capable of intricate world building and one-of-a-kind mythology creation, all while creating characters that grow and change, but stay true to their core values. If anyone can fix the dumpster fire that Game of Thrones became, it’s them. (You know, until George RR Martin gets around to it himself, of course) Veronica Mars
When Veronica Mars was cruelly cancelled, on a cliffhanger, back in 2009, no one screamed in outrage louder than I did. It was a phenomenal show about a talented, smart, strong young woman that all young women could look up to, and yet the network STILL didn’t give it the respect it deserved. I watched the 2014 movie—which was paid for by fans, by the way—eagerly, and I adored it. It ended exactly where it should: with Veronica tackling crime and corruption in Neptune, alongside her loyal boyfriend Logan. I was, again, thrilled when Hulu announced season 4 this July. I binged every episode back-to-back. I was mostly loving it (there were a few hiccups, but nothing unforgivable)...until the end. Don’t read any further if you intend to watch season 4 but haven’t yet, because things are about to get loud and spoiler-y.
In the last 5 minutes of season 4, Logan and Veronica FINALLY get married...only to have Logan killed by a pipe bomb a few minutes later. That’s right: THEY KILLED LOGAN. Why, you ask, would they kill off an original cast member who fans adored so cruelly and pointlessly? Writer Rob Thomas said it was because it was necessary for Veronica’s growth and the “noir” feel of the show. Apparently, Mr. Thomas doesn’t think it’s possible for women to be smart, driven, career-oriented, AND happily married. (That GIF with the middle finger? That’s what I have to say to Mr. Thomas on THAT issue.) So, who do I think should rewrite the pathetic crapfest that was the Veronica Mars season 4 finale? MY VOTE: A tag-team by Darynda Jones and Isabel Jordan. Why Darynda Jones and Isabel Jordan should be in charge of the rewrite for the dismal Veronica Mars season 4 finale To write for Veronica Mars, you need to be sarcastic, quick-witted, able to construct a cool mystery, and ready to spew rapid witty banter faster than machine gun fire. Ms. Jones and Ms. Jordan have proven themselves totally capable. They also know how to handle romance and strong female private detective stories. I’m pretty confident neither of them would’ve ever considered killing off Logan, so there’s that, too. Dexter
The serial killer with a code. The ultimate anti-hero. Man, did I love this show. Until the finale, that is. The series had been so good that I was expecting an epic, possibly blaze-of-glory style ending for my favorite lovable serial killer. What did I get instead? Dexter runs off, leaving his kid with a fellow serial killer, and becomes...a lumberjack. I’m not even making that up. It was a letdown of incredible proportions and pretty much ruined the rest of the show for me. Who could fix such a colossal error?
MY VOTE: A tag-team by Celia Aaron and Annika Martin. Why Celia Aaron and Annika Martin should be in charge of the rewrite for the dismal Dexter series finale Ms. Aaron and Ms. Martin have MORE than proven themselves capable of creating dark, twisted, anti-heroes that I should hate, but end up loving and rooting for. That’s a talent that not just any writer has, I’m afraid. These ladies have never made a misstep, as far as I’m concerned. I have NO doubt they’d come up with a much better ending that wouldn’t involve lumberjacks. Or if they did involve lumberjacks, it’d be in a cool, sexy way... Angel
This show has been over since 2004, and I still spit on the ground every time I think of it’s heartless cancellation. I adore Joss Whedon’s work, and this show was pure art (minus some weirdness in season 4, of course). The banter, the feels, the tragedy, the strong female role models, the action, THE PUPPET EPISODE, the laughs...this show had it all. And then they ended it on a horrible cliffhanger where I’m not even sure if Angel, Spike, Ilyria and the gang even lived. NOT COOL! In my mind, there’s only one author who can right the travesty that was the Angel final episode.
MY VOTE: Jeaniene Frost Why Jeaniene Frost should be in charge of the re-write for the Angel series finale This lady can make you laugh, cry, and be terrified all the course of one book. She knows the vampire lore, writes the crap out of strong female characters we can all look up to, and has a sharp, snarky sense of humor that never fails to delight me. Hands-down, this one is ALL hers. The Sopranos
When a series finale makes you grab your remote and rewind just to make sure you didn’t miss something, you know it’s not good. That’s what happened with this one. In the finale scene, just when it looks like maybe Tony Soprano is about to get whacked, the screen just goes black. Viewers were left disappointed, and with questions. So who could’ve done it better?
MY VOTE: A. Zavarelli Why A. Zavarelli should be in charge of the re-write for The Sopranos series finale This lady’s Boston Underworld series is brilliant. If she can’t straighten out that mess of a series finale, no one can. Gossip Girl
The absolutely ridiculous reveal that Dan—DAN, FFS—is indeed Gossip Girl left me with more questions than answers, and it pretty much ruined the entire show for me. And everyone else’s awful endings? Don’t even get me started. This one’s tough, but as I see it, there’s only one woman who can straighten it all out.
MY VOTE: LJ Shen Why LJ Shen should be in charge of the re-write for the Gossip Girl series finale No one has proven themselves more capable of writing characters with twisted pasts and rich alphahole jerks that you inexplicably find yourself loving than this woman. Her latest series about the highschool-aged kids of the Sinners of Saint characters is VERY Gossip Girl-esque, and I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that she’d come up with a better ending than the dumpster fire that ended up airing.
And for funsies, in case you doubt my picks, here are some of our favorite books from each author that prove they’re more than up to the task at hand.
Well, what say you? Any series finales you’d like to hand over to romance authors for rewrites? Let’s discuss!
2 Comments
monica
9/11/2019 07:57:49 am
get over yourself... veronica mars isn’t a romance show. a shitty romance author would ruin it even worse
Reply
Jennifer, Romance Rehab
9/11/2019 08:19:56 am
Well, Monica, if you'd read the beginning of the post, you'd see that I acknowledged the fact that Veronica Mars is not a romance (although her romance with Logan WAS a central theme for every season...but that's beside the point). But thanks for stopping by to let us all know you hate romance. Your opinion has been noted. Hope that makes you feel better. If you feel so strongly about it, though, maybe you should write your own blog post somewhere. I'll make sure to stop by and leave my thoughts. In closing...piss off.
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