Top 6 reasons why Dean Winchester would make a great book boyfriend, but a lousy real one

I’ve watched every episode of Supernatural. Through the good and bad, the deaths and rebirths, the tears and laughs, I’ve remained loyal to the show and to (my future second husband) the incredibly talented Jensen Ackles (aka: Dean Winchester). And as a fan of the show who is also a HUGE fan of romance novels, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that Dean Winchester would make a phenomenal book boyfriend. But in real life...well...not so much. Now, before all you Dean fans jump on me with both feet, hear me out:

#1: Holy crap, he’s beautiful

In Book Boyfriend Land:  It’s pretty much law in Book Boyfriend Land that heroes know how to smolder and turn on the sex appeal—and let’s face it, Dean’s got the whole smolder thing down to a science. He also pretty much rolls out of bed looking hot as hell, which is also a requirement for anyone who hopes to be in the running for book boyfriend.

In real life: Oh, come on. No one is THAT perfect. There’s NO WAY anyone can roll out of bed looking THAT hot. I’m guessing there’s some hair styling and possibly some manscaping involved, and quite frankly, I don’t want a boyfriend who has to spend more time in front of the mirror primping than I do every morning.

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#2: The never ending job

In Book Boyfriend Land: Having a book boyfriend who pretty much saves the world on a regular basis is pretty freakin’ cool.

In real life: I see lots of cancelled plans in the future for anyone dating Dean Winchester. I mean, demons and vampires and whatnot don’t care that it’s your anniversary, or that you have dinner reservations at that cool new restaurant downtown. He’s pretty much on 24-hour call, 7 days a week until...forever. And you can’t even really get mad at the guy for it because he’s, you know, saving the world. Sounds like a recipe for bitter disappointment to me. And not to be a materialistic pig, but if you were ever to marry Dean Winchester, the burden of all things financial would fall on you and you alone. Because I’m assuming that the “family business” doesn’t come with a regular salary (unless you count credit card fraud) or a decent health insurance plan with dental. ​

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#3: The brother

In Book Boyfriend Land: Dean’s devotion to his little bro, Sam, is so admirable. I mean, the guy is willing to DIE (multiple times, even) to protect him. That’s soooooo sweet! (And sexy)

In real life: I think Dean’s proven that he’s pretty much willing to sacrifice anyone—or everyone—in the world to save Sam. As his girlfriend (or wife), it’d HAVE to hurt knowing that Dean would chose his brother over you in a heartbeat.

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#4: The serial dater

In Book Boyfriend Land: We readers tend to cut men in romance novels a lot of slack about their shady pasts where women are concerned. We call them “playboys” instead of “STD-ridden man whores”. There aren’t too many romance readers who would hold Dean’s past, um, dalliances with strange women (lots of them) against him, so long as he was faithful to his OTP (One True Pairing) when the time came.

In real life: To the man who has hooked up with random skanky women in pretty much every small Midwestern town in the country, I say, no, I will not have sex with you. I’m far too busy to get syphilis today. Good day, sir. I said good day! ​

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#5: Unhealthy habits

In Book Boyfriend Land: Sure, his job is dangerous. But he’s been dead and come back to life, like, four times. There’s no reason to worry! He can take care of himself.

In real life: Let’s assume, shall we, that none of the monsters Dean fights on a weekly basis can do him in permanently. But given his steady diet of fast food hamburgers, pie, and alcohol, Dean’s pretty much a walking heart attack. Like, seriously, I wouldn’t stand too close to him. His arteries might explode at ANY MINUTE.

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#6: The pithy one-liners

In Book Boyfriend Land: Anyone without a great sense of humor needn’t bother applying for the position of book boyfriend. And there isn’t anyone (other than maybe Crowley, may he RIP) with a better sense of humor than Dean.

In real life: There is such a thing as too much sarcasm. Ask anyone who has ever worked with me in real life if you don’t believe me. Ahem.

via GIPHY

What do you guys think? Would you be willing to date Dean in real life? Let us know how you feel! We’d love to hear from you!

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