Crushing the romance stigma once and for all Romance novel sales tally in the billions of dollars every year. (That's right: billions. With a "b".) And still, literary critics and other various bookish snobs continue to malign the genre, loudly and with great disdain. Why is that? If you ask these folks, they'll tell you romance novels are nothing but badly written trash. So, y'all have read a bunch of romance novels before forming that opinion, I assume? Oh, no, they'll say, noses tipped heavenward. They don't read romance (with all the contempt in the world placed on the word "romance"). Huh. Now I'm confused. Why would people be so openly hostile to a genre they've never read? I think I can tell you why. The romance stigma and genre misconceptions are so deeply ingrained in us as a society that we have trouble overlooking them, even with glaring examples to the contrary. Heck, even bestselling romance authors like Nicholas Sparks hesitate to admit they write romance. Mr. Sparks insists that he writes “love stories”. On his website, Sparks lays out the difference between “love stories” and romance as follows: “It’s equivalent to the difference between a "legal thriller" and a "techno-thriller." In that instance, both novels include many of the same elements: suspense, good and bad forces pitted against each other, scenes that build to a major plot point, etc. But aside from the obvious, those novels are in different sub-genres and the sub-genres have different requirements. For instance, legal thrillers generally have a court room scene on center stage, techno-thrillers use the world or a city as their setting. Legal thrillers explore the nuances of law, techno-thrillers explore the nuances of scientific or military conflict. The same situation applies with romance novels and love stories. Though both have romantic elements, the sub-genres have different requirements. Love stories must use universal characters and settings. Romance novels are not bound by this requirement and characters can be rich, famous, or people who lived centuries ago, and the settings can be exotic. Love stories can differ in theme, romance novels have a general theme—‘the taming of a man.’ And finally, romance novels usually have happy endings while love stories are not bound by this requirement. Love stories usually end tragically or, at best, on a bittersweet note.” I’m sorry, no disrespect intended, but if you’ve written a story in which the romantic relationship between two characters is the focus, you’ve written a romance novel, Mr. Sparks. The rest is just splitting hairs and can probably be construed as you protesting a bit too much. Throwing in a depressing ending doesn’t completely excuse you from the genre. Sorry. So, let’s take a look at the most common romance complaints and see if there’s actually anything to them: Romance novels are badly written I don’t know if y’all picked up on the implied “all” in that sentence, but I sure did. I don’t know of any genre outside of romance where people feel comfortable saying “all” of it is badly written. Are there some stinkers in the bunch? Absolutely. But I’ve also read plenty of stinkers in the sci fi, horror and mystery genres. I suppose my response to critics who say romance novels are badly written would be: have you read all romance novels? No? Well…there you go. And further...if they’re so badly written, why are they selling so well? Romance novels are formulaic I suppose this might depend on how broadly you define “formula”. For example: 1 person + 1 person = love and happiness Is that how a formula is defined? Because if that’s the definition, it could be argued that romance novels are formulaic. It is a somewhat unspoken “rule” that romance novels end with a HEA (happily ever after). But in my opinion, there’s A LOT that can happen in the middle of that particular formula, and there’s about a gazillion ways that particular equation can be worked out. I’ve read romance novels about everyday people with typical problems, and I’ve read romance novels about vampires and witches and angels. All the lovely variations in which the “formula” can be worked out and twisted about sure can make for some entertaining reading. Romance novels are predictable Again with the implied “all”. Sigh. I’m pretty hard to surprise. I knew that Darth Vadar was Luke’s father well before Luke did. I knew that one of the dead people Haley Joel Osment was seeing was Bruce Willis way before Bruce Willis knew. I knew what was going on at The Red Wedding well before Talisa took that knife to the gut. But I can honestly say that more than a few romance authors have managed to throw me for a loop with their plot gymnastics. (I’m looking at you, J.A. Redmerski!) So, are there some predictable romances out there? Sure. Can it be argued that the HEA is predictable? Absolutely. But to those still arguing this point, I have to ask: is your enjoyment of a book dependent on your inability to predict the story’s ultimate direction? Even if you know where the story will end up, can you not just enjoy the ebb and flow of the story, the writer’s word choices, the snap of the dialog and crackling chemistry between characters? If not...well, that’s kind of sad! Why bother reading at all if that’s the case? There’s no plot; it’s all just about sex This is another one of those all-inclusive statements that should just be ignored. Are there some romance novels that are all about sex? Sure. And there are plenty of others that are intricately plotted (author Tarryn Fisher comes immediately to mind here) and meticulously researched. Beyond that, there’s even an entire subcategory of sweet and clean romances (even some Amish romances) that don’t contain any sex at all. Lesson to be learned here: As a rule, “all” and “never” statements are crap. “Real” writers don’t write romance Who gets to define what a “real” writer is? Was there some kind of specially appointed task force for this that I wasn’t aware of? As it turns out, writing is an art. So, just like any other art form, opinions on what is “good” and what is “real” will tend to vary greatly. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and there are no wrong answers. And just for the record, Jane Austen wrote romance novels. Anyone care to tell her—and her legions of rabid fans—that she wasn’t a real writer? No? Didn’t think so. Romance novels are unrealistic The “unrealistic” criticism usually exists in a couple of different forms: 1. The heroes and heroines are all perfect looking It’s true that as a society, we like pretty stuff. For that reason, you will find an abundance of pretty, seemingly perfect people in romance novels (especially on the covers). But, you’ll also find plenty of people who don’t fit into a perfect Barbie-and-Ken mold. I’ve read romances about a paraplegic hero, a heroine with CP, and a heroine so unattractive the hero is uncomfortable around her until he gets to know and love her. 2. HEAs don’t happen in real life You know who doesn’t believe in HEAs? Unhappy people. It’s true that no one is happy all the time, but to assume that no one ever gets a HEA is insane. There’s plenty of happiness out there for those who are willing to reach for it. And on a less philosophical note, I think romance readers generally understand that “HEA” is just a phrase. No one assumes that the main couple in the story continued to live out their lives without ever having another care in the world. The HEA is just where the story ends. Romance novels are just “bodice rippers” This one stems from a trend in the 70s and 80s that had innocent virgins (mostly in historical novels) on book covers being accosted by burly, half-dressed dudes (often Fabio) who were pretty much forcing themselves on them. Much like clothing and hairstyles, romance novel trends have also changed quite a bit since the 70s and 80s. For anyone who believes that all romance novels are “bodice rippers”, I encourage you to change out of your velour leisure suit, shut off your 8-track player and lava lamp, and venture to your local bookstore’s romance section. You’re in for a big surprise. Romance novels promote abusive relationships I’ll let you in on a little secret, folks. (Come closer…wouldn’t want this one getting out to just anyone) Women sometimes fantasize about being overpowered by a man. It’s a pretty standard fantasy, actually. Some dude (who looks like Thor or Wolverine) overcomes all of her good-girl protests and better judgement with nothing more than the raw animal power of his overwhelming manly hotness. No consequences, no one gets hurt. Does reading about such a fantasy make women prone to asking their husband/partner/lover to abuse and overpower them on a regular basis? No more so than reading To Kill a Mockingbird makes people prone to becoming lawyers, or reading The Bourne Identity makes people prone to amnesia. Typically, readers are capable of distinguishing between fantasy and reality. Critics who spew drivel about romance novels promoting abuse against women seem to think otherwise, though. And further, as I’ve mentioned before, I’ve read a lot of romance novels. A. Lot. The portion of those novels that featured a man overpowering a woman amounts to maybe 2% of the total. It’s hardly fair to assume that all romance novels—or even a majority of romance novels, for that matter--promote that kind of relationship. It’s just “mommy porn” Sorry, but it’s just not statistically possible that all of the billions of dollars’ worth of romances sold each year were read by mommies. Women and men (yes, men read romance, too) of all ages enjoy romances. This statement is just a desperate attempt by critics to shame readers into buying the types of books they think everyone should be reading. It’s like trying to convince people they should be watching PBS all the time. PBS is a great channel, but sometimes, you need a little HBO. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Anyone who tells you otherwise is just an egocentric bully trying to promote his/her own agenda. Romance novels are silly fluff I’m not going to argue that romance novels are doing their part to cure cancer or end world hunger. (And truthfully, neither are any novels) Some romances are about light subject matter, and others cover much deeper topics such as the grief of losing a spouse, kidnapping and child abuse, murder and even survival in a post-apocalyptic world. And those are just a few examples of the not-so-silly-fluffy topics you can find in romance novels today. There’s plenty more where those came from. Long-story-short, it would appear that nothing is wrong with the romance genre that isn’t also a problem for any other genre, other than what ignorant critics think of it. So, what can romance lovers do to help crush the romance stigma once and for all? Well, the first step is to admit, out loud and to anyone who asks, that you love romance novels. No more sheepishness. No more hiding your romance novels in speculative fiction dust jackets. No more refusing to let anyone see your Amazon browsing history or your Kindle’s contents. Be PROUD of what you read. The second step is to promote the books you read that help crush these myths. That’s what we’ll be doing here at Romance Rehab. What about all of you proud romance readers out there? What other romance misconceptions piss you off? Let’s talk.
24 Comments
CJ Jones
2/6/2017 12:19:32 pm
Loved it. You told them.
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Jennifer, Romance Rehab
2/6/2017 01:12:00 pm
Thanks so much, CJ! Let's hope this starts to shut down the haters out there!
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2/6/2017 08:50:21 pm
I love the way you debunked all the myths of romance. It's such stereotypical trash to condemn a whole genre because, ugh, women enjoy it. (Although, as you say, there are plenty of men who read it as well.)
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Jennifer, Romance Rehab
2/6/2017 09:48:11 pm
There just aren't ANY other genres that are universally condemned like romance is. It drives me absolutely crazy!! And I love the HEA, too!
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2/6/2017 09:25:00 pm
You know when your neck hurts from nodding so much after reading an article? No? Well, lemme tell you. The struggle is real...
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Jennifer, Knockin' Books
2/6/2017 09:49:34 pm
Thanks so much, Annie! Get some rest. Can't have that sore neck keep you from finishing the next Hart book...
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Jennifer, Romance Rehab
2/9/2017 04:09:37 pm
That's awesome, L! Thanks for commenting. And best of luck with your writing!
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Corrina F
2/9/2017 03:43:41 pm
I always hated when a certain couple of people I know would say that the romance I read was like porn and no plot because maybe there was a love scene or 2 in the story. But I would always say that to it is no different than watching a movie, drama, thriller or even the shoot 'em up, blow 'em up action pack that would have love scenes. Does it take away from the story or add to it?
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Jennifer, Romance Rehab
2/9/2017 04:11:48 pm
That's so true! There was even a love scene in The Bourne Identity, for God's sake! (My favorite action movie of all time, by the way) Thanks so much for commenting! (And for being a "loud and proud" romance reader!
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2/9/2017 04:36:03 pm
I would like to kiss you now...... I'm sharing this and I hope some individuals take note. xox
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Jennifer, Romance Rehab
2/9/2017 05:57:03 pm
Yay!! I'm so happy you like it! I hope EVERYONE takes note. I don't want romance lovers to take anymore crap from anyone! Thanks so much for commenting, Freya!
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2/10/2017 06:24:07 pm
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for saying what we've all wished we had the guts to say! You rock!
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Jennifer, Romance Rehab
2/11/2017 09:47:55 am
You're so welcome, Nicole! Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for commenting!
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2/11/2017 12:14:05 am
LOVED this post! You've said exactly what I've felt for a long time, but much more eloquently than I could have put it. I'm going to read more of your site and will recommend your blog to my followers. :)
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Jennifer, Romance Rehab
2/11/2017 09:49:00 am
Thank you so much, Sophia! I'm so glad you liked the post! And thanks for commenting!
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Anannya Bhaumik
2/11/2017 01:52:37 am
I loved this article, BTW i was never ashamed of love for romance books..
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Jennifer, Romance Rehab
2/11/2017 09:46:53 am
Good for you, Anannya! We need more "loud and proud" romance readers out there! Thanks so much for commenting!
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TRACIE DELANEY
4/4/2017 01:22:16 pm
I love this post. Love, love, love. Thank you for putting this out there. I write romance and I'm proud of it. I read romance and I'm proud of it.
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Jennifer, Romance Rehab
4/5/2017 06:00:35 pm
Thanks so much, Tracie! We're so glad you liked the post. And trust us, we've read our fair share of crappy sci fi, mysteries, and literary fiction, too. You're so right; romance deserves the same respect any other genre gets. Happy reading!
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Niamh Mc shane
4/5/2017 03:15:02 am
Great post. You lay it all out there. I am a romance junkie and follow a lot of authors on my facebook page. I've had friends, a lot of the time men say to me "what trash are you reading today" or "are you reading porn again" because they see the covers of some of the books the authors share. I have read the most amazing books and get sucked into a different world each time. That's what reading is about for me. Escaping everyday life for a while and for me only romance books can do that.
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Jennifer, Romance Rehab
4/5/2017 05:59:07 pm
Thanks so much, Niamh! All of us romance junkies need to stick together and start crushing these critics once and for all! Happy reading!
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10/23/2018 07:53:04 am
I absolutely LOVE this blog post. Thank you for putting into words (quite nicely, btw), exactly what I've been saying... lol! Rock on, lovers of romance!!!
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