Dear new adult romance,
It pains me to write this, but I think I'm done with you. Look, I'll admit we had some good times, and I'll be forever grateful to you for introducing me to Meghan Quinn, LJ Shen, Scarlett Cole, Helena Hunting, Tammara Webber, and so many more. But I just can't go on like this. My TBR list is WAY too long to keep adding your books and not getting what I want out of them. I'm sure this comes as a surprise to you, and for that I am truly sorry. I do feel like you're entitled to an explanation, though, so here it goes... I'm too old for this sh!t
My days of youthful angst are long, long gone. I'm old and grumpy and reading about young people who can't get their crap together long enough to have one meaningful conversation that would solve every problem in the book weighs on me like a lead weight around my neck. I want to smack your characters, especially the ones who let giant, stupid misunderstandings wreck their whole lives. And wanting to smack characters is NOT in the best interest of my blood pressure. (I'm old, remember? Old people worry about their blood pressure. It's a whole thing.)
Bullies. Really???
Back in my day (when dinosaurs roamed the earth and we walked to school, uphill in the snow, barefoot, for miles), bullies were horrible and we hated them. Never, EVER did we fall in love with the bully who made our school days a living hell. There are WAY too many bullies who end up getting the girl in new adult romance these days, and I just can't take it anymore! I want to see bullies get what's coming to them, and that is NOT a happily ever after with a heroine I've grown to know and love over the course of a book. Bully heroes can piss off...and that's all I have to say about that. (Note: I'm not talking about jerks. That's a different story entirely. Being a jerk is not the same thing as bullying. I don't usually like jerks either, but I can generally overlook them if the story is great and the redemption arc is plausible, so please don't respond with an argument about all the books I've loved with a jerk hero because it won't change my mind. We're still breaking up, new adult romance.)
Where's your backbone, girl?
To all the new adult romance heroines who allow themselves to be treated like complete and utter crap by a hero because he's popular/hung like a horse/looks like a Greek God, I need to know...where's your backbone, girl? Don't you know you deserve better? Go out and find you a cinnamon roll hero who actually deserves you. And if you want me to hook you up with a hero from another book in another category of romance, let me know. I'm always happy to help out. Some of the guys in paranormal and rom com are FABULOUS.
In conclusion...
I could go on, but I hardly see the point. The fact of the matter is that we're done and have been for a long time. I'm afraid I've simply aged out of new adult romance and there's no going back for us.
With that, I wish you nothing but the best in your future endeavors. Sincerely, Jennifer at Romance Rehab NOTE: I reserve the right to change my mind and read new adult romance whenever I want in the future because, well, no one is the boss of me. :) With that said, here's a look back at the some of the great times we've had together, just to prove it hasn't all been misery. (*singing a few bars of The Way We Were*)
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