Why women sometimes love book boyfriends more than real ones

Guest post from author Isabel Jordan

We love you guys, but maybe this list, which contains things I’ve heard men do (no, not you, honey, but other men), is the reason why so many women love romance novels. Because a romance novel hero would never:

1. ​Leave beard hair in the sink. (Hey, Chewbacca, how about wiping the sink out after you’re done shaving?)
2. Shove a gallon of milk under your nose and ask, “Does this smell bad?”
3. Utilize a bedroom floor composting method for dirty clothes instead of tossing them in the hamper like normal human beings (i.e.: women).
4. Dutch oven. ‘Nuff said.
5. Channel surf with one hand on the remote and the other shoved down his pants.
6. Yell instructions at players in any sporting event as if they can hear him from his position sitting in front of the TV.
7. Ask an angry woman, “are you on your period?”
8. Tell you to “calm down” when you’re clearly very angry about something. Grrr. It’s even worse if done in combination with #7.
9. Say, “pull my finger.”
10. Send you a picture of his penis (aside to the guys who might be reading this: we like penises. Really, we do. But they are ugly. Homely as a mule’s butt, even. Trust me when I say no one wants pictures of your penis)

---

About Isabel

The normal:
Isabel Jordan writes because it's the only profession that allows her to express her natural sarcasm and not be fired. She is a paranormal and contemporary romance author. Isabel lives in the U.S. with her husband, ten-year-old son, a senile Beagle, a neurotic Shepherd mix, and a ginormous Great Dane mix.

The weird:
Now that the normal stuff is out of the way, here's some weird-but-true facts that would never come up in polite conversation. Isabel Jordan:

1. Is terrified of butterflies (don't judge...it's a real phobia called lepidopterophobia)
2. Is a lover of all things ironic (hence the butterfly on the cover of Semi-Charmed)
3. Is obsessed with Supernatural, Game of Thrones, and Dog Whisperer.
4. Hates coffee. Drinks a Diet Mountain Dew every morning.
5. Will argue to the death that Pretty in Pink ended all wrong. (Seriously, she ends up with the guy who was embarrassed to be seen with her and not the nice guy who loved her all along? That would never fly in the world of romance novels.)
6. Would eat Mexican food every day, if given the choice.
7. Reads two books a week in varied genres.
8. Refers to her Kindle as "the precious".
9. Thinks puppy breath is one of the best smells in the world.
10. Is a social media idgit. (Her husband had to explain to her what the point of Twitter was. She's still a little fuzzy on what Instagram and Pinterest do.)
11. Kicks ass at Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.
12. Stole her tagline idea from her son. Her tagline idea was, "Never wrong, not quite right." She liked her son's idea better.
13. Breaks one vacuum cleaner a year because she ignores standard maintenance procedures (Really, you're supposed to empty the canister every time you vacuum? Does that seem excessive to anyone else?)
14. Is still mad at the WB network for cancelling Angel in 2004.
15. Can't find her way from her bed to her bathroom without her glasses, but refused eye surgery, even when someone else offered to pay. (They lost her at "eye flap". Seriously, look it up. Scary stuff.)

Isabel loves to hear from her fans. Here’s where you can find her:
Online home: http://www.izzyjo.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ijordanauthor
Twitter: https://twitter.com/izzyjord
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/ijordan0345/
Amazon: http://amzn.to/2mTxu3O​​
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8523573.Isabel_Jordan

---