Yes, romance novels NEED a HEA ending

Once every couple of months or so, someone who doesn't read romance (often a white man, for some reason) pops up on social media with a hot take about how romance novels don't really need to have happy endings (known from here on out as HEA) to still be considered romance novels. Whenever this happens, Romance Twitter (Romancelandia) comes out in full force to stomp on the unfortunate idiot's throat. It never helps. The idiot just gets louder and louder, proudly proclaiming their ignorance to the world. Well, apparently, last week it was time for another unfortunate idiot to step up and proclaim (as loudly as possible) that romance novels don't need a HEA--and further, that romance novels are slut shame-y, and that it's gross to assume all HEAs should include a paired-off couple. Other various bullshit was also spouted. I'm proud to say that I didn't directly address the idiot. But, today, I'm going to debunk every stupid thing the idiot said so that when this happens again next month (and it will happen again next month), I can just point them to my reply instead of repeating myself. So, here it goes:   

The tweets that launched a thousand comments

Here are the tweets that got so much attention. They were posted in response to a reader who respectfully said that if a book is marketed to her as a romance and there is not a HEA at the end, readers will be pissed and might never read that author again (And she is NOT wrong about that):

That gem was followed by: 

First of all...romance is NOT the same as a "romance novel"

Any book can have a romance and/or sex in it, or contain romantic elements. That does NOT make it a romance novel. Romance is a genre where pretty much anything goes, plot wise. You can find blue alien romance,  romance featuring middle-aged, grumpy, female superheroes, space romance, historical romance...whatever you're into, you can find it in the romance genre. The ONLY rule is that there MUST be a HEA or HFN (happy for now) ending.  (Check out the RWA website if you don't believe me.) That's it. That doesn't even mean that the folks involved in the romance need to be hetero, paired off/married, and having babies at the end. Gay, straight, bi, poly...anything goes--as long as they're all happy when the story ends. There's nothing "traditionalist" or "slut-shame-y" about it. So, yes, the HEA is a "sacred writ" in romance novels. It's the ONLY one.  In a genre that is so open-minded, is it really too much to ask that one simple rule be followed? I just don't think so.  

But...that's not the same thing at all

From this point on, I will be virtually slapping anyone who asserts that Romeo and Juliet is a romance. It's a TRAGEDY. Two kids kill themselves at the end. Tragic. See how that works? Casablanca is a film that does contain some romantic elements, but ultimately, it's not really a romance, either. Neither of these are apt comparisons to romance novels (see above). 

While we're on this subject, there are some other "but what about's" that I often see tossed out there whenever this debate comes up. Just to be 100% clear, these are also NOT romance novels: 

1. Pride and Prejudice (Literary fiction)
2. Anything by Nicholas Sparks (Love stories. There's a difference. Check out his website where he explains it.)
3. Wuthering Heights (Literary fiction)
4. Gone With the Wind (Historical fiction)
5. Lolita (Gross creepy pedophile fantasy. *clears throat* Sorry. Literary fiction.)
6.  The Fault in Our Stars (Coming of age story, teen and young adult fiction)
7. The Thorn Birds (Historical fiction)
8. Me Before You (Women's fiction. Again, there's a difference between women's fiction and romance)

And before anyone tags me about any of these books, no, I don't care if some of them are classified on Amazon as romance. That's a misclassification, and frankly, it's annoying AF (see next paragraph). 

Market wisely, authors

Inevitably, authors who don't write or read romance pop up in these arguments and say that this need for a HEA is exclusionary, and that the romance community is "gatekeeping" and trying to keep other authors out of the genre. I call bullshit on that. No one is saying that you can't write a beautiful, heartbreaking love story where one or both main characters die horribly at the end. Go ahead! Write and publish as much as your little heart desires. But don't you DARE try to market that to me as a romance novel. Doing so makes it look like, a) You don't understand the genre at all, or b) You're making a desperate money grab by intentionally misleading romance readers--because we all know that romance novels sell more than any other category of genre fiction. But whether you fall into category A (ignorant) or B (greedy and deceitful), it's not a good look for any author. 

To sum up, if you tell me your story is a romance novel and it ends on a depressing note, I will eviscerate you in a review and will NEVER read your work again.   

Let us have our HEAs, damn it!

Please, for the love of all that's holy, quit trying to force books that aren't romance down romance reader's throats. A lot of us love the genre mostly because it's so comforting. In a world where things can be so, so horrible, it's a form of self-care to pick up a book that you know will end happily, no matter how messy the road to that HEA is. Non-romance readers call it formulaic. I disagree, especially since there are an INFINITE number of ways that a great author can get his/her characters from the start of the book to the HEA. But even if it is formulaic...so what? What's it to ya, non-romance reader? Quit trying to yuk our yum. If you don't like it, go pick up some literary fiction or a mystery novel. Just let us have our beloved genre and it's beloved HEAs, will ya? Please and thanks.   

If you don't read romance...

I encourage all non-romance readers to stay out of this discourse on Twitter. I mean, I don't know anything about sports, so I never pop up in sports discussions to give my thoughts on which team is going to win the big game. Long-story-short: read whatever you want, but don't argue with romance readers about what constitutes a romance novel if you've never read one. 

Did I miss anything, romance readers & authors? Let me know in the comments!