Bite Me by CC Woods

Category: Paranormal Romance
Publication date: 09/11/2013
Kindle Unlimited: No
Cliffhanger: No

This is another one of those books where lots of people will probably cuss me out after reading my review because it seems like it was SUPER popular, and yet, I could barely finish it.

via GIPHY

Plot overview: Super-special human Donna is saved (from being attacked) by gorgeous vampire, Conner. His interest in her gets her involved in all kinds of vampire politics and makes her a target of THE EVIL OTHER WOMAN. Conner goes all alpha male to protect her.

First of all, I’m just going to take a wild guess and say that the author was a fan of Twilight. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. Just because Twilight wasn’t my cuppa, it did sell something like 160 million copies and become a huge movie franchise, so the fact that I didn’t care for it clearly didn’t hinder its marketability. But to me, Bite Me read like Twilight fan fiction written by someone who said, “You know what would be cool? To write a story like Twilight, only for 30-somethings!” If that sounds like a genius idea to you, don’t bother reading the rest of this review. Just go buy the book. But if you’re like me and wanted to stab Bella in the head with a rusty fork after reading Twilight, by all means, read on…

OK, are all the Twilight super fans gone? Good.  Here’s what I noticed in the way of similarities between Twilight and Bite Me: 

1. Donna is one of those “super special” paranormal romance heroines. She’s the only person to ever be immune to Conner’s mind-control and mind-reading abilities. There’s no reason given for why she’s so special. I’m assuming it’s because that ability will make her, like, THE BEST VAMPIRE EVER when she’s eventually turned, as is law in Paranormal Romancelandia. There’s an insta-love thing where Donna’s blood smells extra special to Conner, too.  (Edward and Bella much?)   
2. Most of the vampire history and world building info is given during a dinner date where Donna peppers Conner with questions. (Again, anyone with a passing knowledge of Twilight knows this happened with Edward and Bella, too)
3. Evil vampires take note of how much Edward—er, sorry, Conner—seems to love Bella—er, sorry again, Donna—and Connor has to protect her when the others of his kind try to kill her.

Then there were the plot points that weren’t like Twilight but still managed to annoy me: 

1. Donna is sure that Conner is a crazy person who thinks he’s a vampire. And yet she still agrees to go out with him and be alone with him on a date. Why would a sane, rational woman agree to a date with a delusional man who thinks he’s a vampire? Why, because he’s so, so hot, of course! I was annoyed by this on behalf of smart women everywhere. Smart women don’t go out with men they think are delusional, Donna! 
2. The “big bad” is a scorned other woman. Yawn. Like we haven’t seen THAT a gazillion times in romance. 

Then there was the fact that after Donna’s life is threatened, pretty much nothing else happens in the story, other than sex and Conner’s accent deepening and turning Donna on when he’s yelling at her that he’ll keep her hidden away forever if that’s what it takes to keep her safe. About the third time this happened, I was ready to DNF, but I endured. (Why I endured, I have no idea. It’s not like the book got any better after all that.)

So, long story short, if you adored Twilight and want to read something just like it but with more sex, then I suggest you get to your Kindles and download this one immediately. If you’re looking for something new and interesting...look elsewhere. 

Does this book contribute to or help crush the romance stigma?
Contributes mightily.

Other reading suggestions that aren’t so Twilight-y

The most drool-worthy romance novel vampires EVER​

Quirky paranormal romance heroines who are far from normal (in a good way)​

The snarkiest, sassiest heroines you'll ever find in paranormal romance​