Suddenly Dirty by JA Low

Category: Contemporary Romance
Publication date: 04/01/2016
Kindle Unlimited: Yes
Cliffhanger: I dunno.

Nope. No, no, no. I will NOT finish reading this one.

via GIPHY

Plot overview: Sienna gets dumped by her husband, so she accepts a job touring with Evan Wylde, slutty rockstar extraordinaire. Lots of sex ensues.

Had to DNF at 6%, y’all. I know there are tons of folks out there who would say, “But Jennifer, if you didn’t finish reading it, you have no business reviewing it.” To those folks I say, a) No one is the boss of me and I’ll review whatever I darn well please, b) If a book pisses me off so much that I feel a need to rant about it after reading 6%, well, there’s not much that’s going to stop me. #SueMe #SorryNotSorry and c) If this review saves even one reader from suffering through this unholy dumpster fire, then my effort will be worth it. You're welcome.

So, here’s what made me DNF with EXTREME prejudice at 6%: 

1. The prologue is completely redundant. I have no idea why it’s there at all. Prologues are generally annoying to me, but this one was especially bad since it was all repeated info later on in the story. (“Later on” being at 6% of the story. 6%!!)
2. In the 6% of the story I read, Evan got 2 blowjobs from random groupies. He pretty much treated them like crap, too, and didn’t really feel all that bad about it. 
3. Sienna wakes up to a naked man strolling into what she thinks is her bedroom, and rather than avert her eyes and get out of there, she can’t tear her gaze away from his apparently hypnotic penis, and starts jerking off this complete stranger. She’s apparently an idiot with no self-preservation skills, because if Evan had been an ugly naked guy who’d wandered into her room at night, it’d be an episode of Criminal Minds instead of a hot fantasy. But because he’s hot, I’m guessing she just knew he wasn’t a rapist, huh? Ugh. 
4. Sienna witnesses Evan getting a blowjob from a random groupie, then has sex with him a few minutes later. Gross!! At this point I can’t even see Evan as a hot, tattooed rocker. All I can think of him as is a walking, talking, strain of antibiotic-resistant syphilis.  
5. In only 6% of the story, Evan has destroyed Sienna’s leggings and an expensive pair of panties. Guys, you can take things off of women. You don’t have to destroy them. 
6. Sienna might be the least mature 30 year old heroine I’ve ever read about. And don’t even get me started on Evan “syphilis-ridden manwhore” Wylde. I have no tolerance for that crap.          

So, long-story-short, I don’t really care what happened after the 6% mark of the book. The part I read was enough to make me immediately add this book and the series to my “burn it and send it to hell” pile. But hey, if you’re into shallow, narcissists who don't know the difference between sexy and slutty, then this might be for you.

via GIPHY

Does this book contribute to or help crush the romance stigma?
I’m not even sure there’s enough rehab in the world to fix this train wreck.

Other reading suggestions

The ULTIMATE rock star romance list for now at least

Completely awesome road trip romances

Romance novel meet cutes we can't get enough of