Wrong Number, Right Guy

CONTEMPORARY  ROMANCE

Title: Wrong Number, Right Guy
Author: Tara Wylde & Holly Hart  
Publication date: 09/23/2017
Kindle Unlimited: Yes
Cliffhanger: I dunno

I’m starting to feel like I’m being Punk’d, and that Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out of my closet at any moment and laugh in my face about having tricked me into reading so many bad books these days. I mean, this is getting to be ridiculous. Can I not trust hot guys on the cover, good blurbs, and tons of positive, glowing reviews anymore? What gives?

I stopped reading this book at 7%. But Jennifer, you say, how can you review a book that you only read to 7%? Isn’t that unfair to the authors?

Yes, it’s unfair to the authors. But I was pissed off enough at 7% that I’m betting I can pen a thousand words about why I was so pissed off, so for me, writing the review isn’t something I can skip. I consider it a public service to any readers out there who hate the same things I hate. So, with my public service hat firmly in place, I list for you the reasons why I hated this book and quit reading at the 7% mark:

Sexual harassment is wrong, no matter how badly you need your job
The fact that the heroine, Ella, tolerates her supervisor’s constant advances, offends me. And it’s not just Ella, either. All the other women in the office are also being bombarded by the d-bag’s constant date requests and retaliation/punishment when they refuse him. This behavior is NOT OK. I don’t care how badly these women need their jobs, every single bloomin’ one of them should have gone to HR and reported this guy’s sorry ass.

It’s not Mad Men times, folks. Women do not and SHOULD NOT tolerate sexual harassment. (And if later on in the story, the hero takes care of the d-bag supervisor for the heroine, I would be SUPER pissed off. That would just perpetuate the whole “women need a big strong man to save them” 1950s mentality that I have absolutely zero interest in reading about in modern romance novels.) The whole thing made me think Ella is a weak heroine, and if there’s one thing I can’t abide, it’s a weak heroine.

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Outlandishness
When the heroine needed money for her daughter’s heart surgery, she went to a loan shark instead of to the child’s father for help. Sure, why not? Seems...logical.

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Bitchiness
After their one-night-stand, when Jason wanted to see her again, Ella was pretty cold-hearted in her rejection. Damn, girl, would it kill you to give the guy your number? And it’s not like he was a bad guy AT ALL. Why keep his child from him? There just wasn’t any reason for her behavior other than bitchiness, and as a reader, I didn’t care for that at all. To Ella, on behalf of Jason, who apparently wasn’t willing to say what needed to be said, I say:

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And I wish I could say the bitchiness ended there. But, no. When Jason tracks Ella down, does she immediately apologize for her bitchiness and beg his forgiveness before taking him to meet his daughter? Nope. She jumps him. Because she’s horny, I guess. Classy to the end, Ella. Totally classy.    

Instalove
So, at about 7% of the story, I’m already irritated because I hate the heroine with the heat of a nova.  But for some reason, because I’m a masochist, I guess, I read on. After they hook up again for the first time in years (after their initial one-night stand), Jason declares his love for Ella and proposes. I shit you not, folks. They’ve never had a real conversation, haven’t seen each other for years, but he loves her and knows that she loves him too. Ugh. She responds in a bitchy way, of course. Ella’s nothing if not constant.

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Ew...gross
You’ll have to forgive my crudeness on this one, folks. If you’re easily offended, you might want to skip this part. At the 7% mark in the story, there was mention of a “sopping” pussy. I’m adding “sopping” to our list of words I never again want to hear associated with female genitalia. Like, ever.

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I was out at “sopping”, so if anything really great happened after that, I apologize, but I missed it. Long-story-short: this was an offensive read that I feel feminists should actively boycott. I’m thinking of organizing a march against it. I’m not even kidding.  

Does this book contribute to or help crush the romance stigma?
Contributes on every front! 

Other reading suggestions
I would recommend nearly anything else. Seriously. Check out any of our reviews, pick a 5-star read, and enjoy. But if you’re set on a secret baby read, the only time I’m ever seen it done RIGHT was by BN Toler in Desperately Seeking Epic. Fair warning, though, folks: it’s a tearjerker. ​​​​​​​

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