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So recently, The Guardian came out with an article about book thieves. (Note: I’m calling them book thieves and not “pirates” because “pirates” sounds way too cool for these thieving losers. They don’t deserve the title, frankly.) The things these thieves said were so utterly ridiculous that I’m going to need to take a minute to address them comment by comment, I’m afraid. Sorry.
So, with that in mind, The Guardian’s text will be in black, and mine will be in "Romance Rehab red." Here we go…(takes a deep breath)...
There are so many things to love about romance novels. But just like in any genre, not all books can be winners. And one thing that can ruin a romance novel at lightning speed is a crappy villain. With that in mind, here are the top 9 romance novel villains I HATE and wish authors would stop creating (please and thank you):
Romance novels and erotic novels are NOT necessarily the same, no matter what Cosmo says
So recently, Cosmopolitan magazine thought it would be a good idea to discuss “erotic” novels. Great, right? Well, it WOULD have been great, if the magazine and the writer had been bothered to research what “erotic” novels actually WERE. Let’s talk a little bit about where they went wrong, shall we? We all know what ‘shipping means, right? When you watch a show (or a movie) for a while and find yourself rooting for a couple of characters to hook up, even if those characters seem incredibly unlikely to do so? As a romance lover, I’m particularly susceptible to ‘shipping. So, in this post, I’m just going to throw some of my favorite ‘ships out there, along with some reading recommendations, and hopefully we can all have some fun. Note: I say “hopefully” because there are ‘shippers out there who are VERY defensive of their favorite ‘ships and will argue—to the death—why their ‘ship is the best. Then there are those on the flip side who will argue—to the death—why a ‘ship shouldn’t happen. It can all get very brutal. Name-calling often ensues. But let’s keep this discussion civil, shall we? These are my ‘ships, you probably have your own and neither of us has to defend them to anyone. That said, let’s talk ‘ships and books!!
Back in the good old days, I found 99% of new reads either 1) on Facebook, or 2) In the “also boughts” on Amazon. When I found an author I liked, I followed them on Facebook and got notified whenever the author posted about a new release. I was also able to go to Amazon and find out what other books readers were picking up that were like the one(s) I’d just enjoyed. It was truly a golden age of reading. Well, those days are OVER. Why? Because Facebook and Jeff Bezos completely wrecked the golden age. Here’s how:
I’m going to admit something that I’m not entirely proud of. I’ve bought books without even looking at the blurbs because I liked the cover. I don’t do it often, and the times I have, I’ve been punished for my shallowness with a bad read. But more often than not, the times I’ve done this are because there was a really hot, half naked guy on the cover.
Not that long ago, we talked about the anatomy of a 5-star romance read. I’ve given out TONS of 5-star ratings on this site. But sadly, there are also many things that’ll make me banish a book from my Kindle forever and slap a DNF (Did Not Finish) rating on it. That list includes (but certainly isn’t limited to):
Look, we’re not changing our stance on Kindle Unlimited. We think it treats authors abominably, and it could eventually force authors we love to quit writing. We even wrote a letter to Jeff Bezos about it. And while we’re not KU subscribers anymore, we don’t judge those of you who are. We understand how hard (and expensive) it is to feed a 5 or more books a week romance addiction, and if you have to stay in KU to get your fix, we’re there for you. With that in mind, we wanted to tell you about these awesome reads we found in KU. You’re welcome.
Note: books come and go from the KU program all the time. So, it’s possible that these books won’t be available for long. If something looks good to you, we suggest you download it quickly, because it could vanish before you know it. Happy reading!
If you watch television at all, you’ve seen a few (or a few hundred) commercials for Hallmark Channel holiday movies at this time of year. You know the movies I’m talking about: high-powered female exec travels to a small town to shut down the factory that employs everyone, but falls in love with the quirky locals and the hot, beta, town vet/sheriff/restaurant owner/bartender, and the magic of the season (and the power of True Love) forces her to realize how shallow her life has been. She thus decides to quit her high-powered-but-soulless job, save the factory through an unlikely series of events, and marry the beta man who wears sweaters a lot. The end.
I want to smack the crap out of people who call sex scenes in romance novels “the good parts.” There’s so much more to romance novels than the sex scenes. But that’s a different rant entirely. And while there are tons of great romance novels out there with truly beautiful, sexy, erotic, and emotional sex scenes, there are an unfortunate number of stories out there with sex scenes that I tend to cringe about and skip over. Sadly, I’ve seen enough of these things to write an entire rant about them…
I bet you thought our original post about WTF romance novel covers was going to be the last one, didn’t you? Well, SURPRISE! Here we are again with a brand new crop of WTF covers for your enjoyment.
And please, before anyone jumps on me for being mean, I’m not calling anyone out just to be cruel. I just want to rehab the genre and crush the stupid romance stigma once and for all. And frankly, unless covers like these go away, we’ll never be able to do that. So, to anyone who might be offended... bygones.
Last week, I outed the romance heroes I wanted to nut-punch. This week, it’s the heroines’ turn. (Only, you know, without the nut-punching). So, without further ado, here are the heroines I pretty much never want to see again. Like, ever:
I’m not going to call out anyone specific here. The point of this post is not to shame any one particular character or author. I’m just listing out my biggest pet peeves with romance novel heroes today, and hey, if a few authors take note and decide not to write these guys into their stories, that’d be cool, too. (And just to be clear, these are not few-and-far-between romance heroes. These are guys I’ve seen in WAY too many romances.) So, without further ado, here are the top 9 romance heroes I want to see nut-punched. (Listed in no particular order)
I discovered that male pregnancy romance (yes, really) was an actual thing by complete accident. I was just scrolling along through Amazon, minding my own business, when POW...male pregnancy romance. I had so many questions!! I immediately took to our Facebook page and asked my friends if this was new to them, or if I’d just been an extremely sheltered reader. But they were just as shocked as I was! And the information I found online about the subject was less than satisfying. (And in some cases, it was downright freaky and disturbing) So, seeing no alternative, I downloaded the first male pregnancy romance I found and started reading. Why? Because by this time, all of our Facebook readers had the same questions I did, and I didn’t want to leave everyone hanging. That’s right: I read male pregnancy romance for y’all. You’re welcome.
Now, let’s get down to it… |
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